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Post by midslad23 on May 2, 2021 23:33:08 GMT
Is it normal that I only get sexual satisfaction from masturbation. Im in full control of the grip and the pace and its the only time I truly relax and climax. I've always had this problem , when I'm with a lad I feel like my anxiety and nerves take over and I can never really enjoy the occasion . I feel like in my mind I have this wild crazy sex drive but then when it comes down to the push and shove I melt ....I've had this issue all my adult life but never spoken of it ....can anybody else relate ? Thanks .
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Post by liammurphy on May 10, 2021 10:48:47 GMT
Hi midslad23, Thanks for your post and welcome to the OutLife forums! A lot of people have anxiety around sex. When you masturbate you're in control and inviting someone else into the scenario can create uncertainty. While I can't give you any expert advice, it's always best to explore your sex life with someone you trust and have a connection with. GMFA - the gay men's health project has different sex tips and advice which you might find useful. Better sex: www.gmfa.org.uk/Pages/Category/better-sexSex problems and solutions: www.gmfa.org.uk/Pages/Category/sexual-problems-and-solutionsI hope that's of some use and maybe our forum users can help further. I hope you use the forums again. It's a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings. Liam Murphy - LGBT HERO |
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Post by Rasher on May 22, 2021 2:52:54 GMT
Hi midland23, you know sexual anxiety is very common. More common that you think. You are certainly not alone. I can tell by how many people people have viewed this thread that people are searching for the same thing! You're not alone. I think that Liam's advice is important. There are tips and tricks to help you but the best advice we can give is simply take that pressure off yourself. You are not alone and it's perfectly OK to feel the way you do. If wanking is enough for you and you don't need anything else then that's fine. But I ain't going to give you a pass, no no no š, because I also think maybe you need to talk with someone. Maybe look at reaching out the the NHS and talk to someone who knows more than us. It may turn out that this is just you... but what if you figure out something else. It sounds like you would like to be more sexual so counselling and therapy is probably your best way to get there. But it's up to you. Please keep us informed with your journey.
Rasher.
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Post by stuckin1996 on Aug 19, 2021 21:50:39 GMT
My issue is similar but not quite! All my adult life I have struggled to find climax but in straight relationships. Until this week I have always identified as straight. I have been married for two years although itās looking like itās over. The main reason is my unwillingness to talk about it with her. I would shut any discussion down and itās now taken its toll. Why am I posting this in a LGBTQ+ forum? When it was obvious the relationship had pretty much hit the buffers I told her I had spent nearly all my adult life masturbating to trans/gay porn. This was the reason I didnāt want to talk about itā¦ I thought these fantasies were to blame. We spoke more and I told her I had gone twice to trans prostitutes abroad and had failed to climax with them too. For me, that was proof of a general issue with climaxing in front of people full stop regardless of the gender of the other person. Until this week and my discussions with her, I never saw myself as anything other than straight (with an odd wanking habit. I do also like to wear tights or knickers when wanking. I just find it exciting and taboo. But as I say, hiding it whilst not being able to come more than a handful of times in 4 years has been stressful in my marriage and caused me to be a brutally bad communicator and quite an irritable and angry person if truth be told. I am speaking to my doctor next week to try to get counselling to work out why. I looked up reasons for failing to climax and there are many but Iāve started to wonder am I queer? Probably. Am I bisexual? Donāt know. Am I gay? No because I enjoy straight sex with women when I climax. Like the poster of this forum the issue progressed to dominate the longer I left it so my advice to anyone with any issue is to speak to someone as early as you can.
So I would just like to know if anyone has had a similar route /is this a common route to accepting bisexuality or queerness? What is going on with me? Itās been 20 years of dodging out of relationships and itās made life pretty lonely for me. I love my wife and enjoy our sex so much. Itās just the non-ejaculation issue has driven a wedge between us. She is behind me now Iāve accepted I need help and it was her idea that I explore LGBT forums to try and find info, happiness and peace.
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