Post by clara on May 15, 2021 13:51:36 GMT
Hi all,
This is my first post here, I don't really know what I'm looking for. I just need to get things off my chest I guess.
2 months ago I started dating someone non binary (uses she/her pronouns) and I started questioning my own gender identity since. I never really thought about it before, because I thought it was normal to feel forced to be a girl, I thought it was normal to hate having curves, hate being expected to "act girly". I have always forced myself to wear clothes that I didn't want to wear because they were girls clothes so that's what I'm supposed to do. And I forced myself to "be a girl" because that's what I'm supposed to be.
But the more I think about it, the less I feel like an "actual" girl. I know I'm definitely not a guy and I do not want to be one. But deep down, I don't really want to be a girl either. At least not in the way that people see it. I just wanna be me, you know? I wanna be something that doesn't have any meaning, that doesn't hold any expectations of how I should dress or act. Just me.
I don't really know what that makes me. Non binary? I feel bad for enjoying some typically girly things and yet calling myself non binary. I don't know what I am. I'm sad that my body doesn't match who I am. Most days I just don't think about it, but generally speaking I kind of hate the way I look. I wish I could make my curves go away somehow, but Im happy with my genitalia, so it makes me feel like maybe I don't have the right to call myself non binary.
I'm sorry this doesn't make any sense and I'm not even asking any questions so I guess this is pointless. Do you think I could talk about this with my girlfriend? I'm scared she will think I'm just influenced by her. And I'm scared that she will not understand, because she kind of wishes she was a male, whereas I don't wanna be a guy and don't really wanna be anything except myself. Jesus, that doesn't make any sense...
Yeah you dont have to answer anything I don't even know what I'm talking about.
This is my first post here, I don't really know what I'm looking for. I just need to get things off my chest I guess.
2 months ago I started dating someone non binary (uses she/her pronouns) and I started questioning my own gender identity since. I never really thought about it before, because I thought it was normal to feel forced to be a girl, I thought it was normal to hate having curves, hate being expected to "act girly". I have always forced myself to wear clothes that I didn't want to wear because they were girls clothes so that's what I'm supposed to do. And I forced myself to "be a girl" because that's what I'm supposed to be.
But the more I think about it, the less I feel like an "actual" girl. I know I'm definitely not a guy and I do not want to be one. But deep down, I don't really want to be a girl either. At least not in the way that people see it. I just wanna be me, you know? I wanna be something that doesn't have any meaning, that doesn't hold any expectations of how I should dress or act. Just me.
I don't really know what that makes me. Non binary? I feel bad for enjoying some typically girly things and yet calling myself non binary. I don't know what I am. I'm sad that my body doesn't match who I am. Most days I just don't think about it, but generally speaking I kind of hate the way I look. I wish I could make my curves go away somehow, but Im happy with my genitalia, so it makes me feel like maybe I don't have the right to call myself non binary.
I'm sorry this doesn't make any sense and I'm not even asking any questions so I guess this is pointless. Do you think I could talk about this with my girlfriend? I'm scared she will think I'm just influenced by her. And I'm scared that she will not understand, because she kind of wishes she was a male, whereas I don't wanna be a guy and don't really wanna be anything except myself. Jesus, that doesn't make any sense...
Yeah you dont have to answer anything I don't even know what I'm talking about.
