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Post by raging on May 15, 2021 21:43:22 GMT
Im a closeted pan teen. Parenta would support but they would be majorly disappointed in me. They want a barbie and ken sort of thing for me but im more of the younger sibling that has a bunch of metal health problems and is kind of insane and fights at school etc. Just need some advice because im seriously questioning whether i even like boys? I think their attractive and all but i dont rlly know
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Post by Rasher on May 16, 2021 2:32:51 GMT
Hi Raging, welcome to the forums. Good to have you here. I think the thing with parents is that they live in a heteronormative world, where everything was build and designed by and for them. So when "others" come in and challenge that they don't know what to do. This is why they think automatically for the barbie and ken thing, rather than just letting their children to grow up and be who they want to be. It puts unnecessary pressure on us to confirm to something we're not. The good thing for you is that you know that's not you and that should be celebrated. Now the next challenge is figuring out where on the scale you are. The thing about gender and sexuality is its fluid and what you start at may not be where you end up as. This challenge should be fun for you as you get to explore your identity. This is the most exciting time of your life and you should feel happy about the next few years of your life. If you like girls, cool. If you like boys, cool. If you like both, cool. If you like neither... COOL. It's your journey and it's up to you how you get from A-Z. But I also get it that's it's not that simple and although your parents might be fine about it, you're worried about disappointing them. That's natural. I had the same experience, to the point my mental health suffered badly. In the end my parents surprised me and they were excellent about it. The thing I figured out is that they needed a bit of time to adjust but once they had time they were fine. So if you think they will be cool, don't worry too much about upsetting them. Just give them time to adjust. It will all work its way out in the end. My Mother and Father gave me away at my wedding and before I came out I thought they would disown me. Sometimes our own fears are just that... our own and not our parents. So whatever you do just realise that you a fantastic and in the most exciting time of your life as you get to figure out who you are. It's your journey and we're all just tagging along. Saying all that, if you feel like you need to talk with someone I can recommend the LGBT Switchboard. They are fantastic and can listen to what you have to say. Sometimes it's good to hear a voice say... "I get it" Here's their info. | Switchboard - 0300 330 0630, 10am-10pm - email chris@switchboard.lgbt | Also check out this article from us | www.lgbthero.org.uk/a-z-of-sexual-orientation | it might help. I hope you found that helpful. Maybe some of our readers can join in and offer their experiences. Rasher. |
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