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Post by lishie on Dec 26, 2021 11:47:58 GMT
Hi everyone,
the last few times I've been having sex with my new partner, we've both noticed that my penis has been going soft when inside him, which of course becomes extremely embarrassing for me, and is undoubtedly going to have a n negative impact on our sexual relationship going forwards. I'm 32, have no problems whatsoever getting an erection, but once it's in, I find myself going soft... Of course, once I start focussing on the issue and telling myself "please go hard, please go hard" this is counterproductive and surely leads to more anxiety.
Anyone else experienced this? I'm feeling pretty desperate and hoping I can sort this issue out without speaking to a Dr or getting medication.
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Post by liammurphy on Jan 10, 2022 15:17:05 GMT
Hi Lishie, I'm sorry you're going through this. Something like this is very personal, so we may not have a complete answer for you, but we may be able to help you in the right direction to help you figure it out. As you are able to get an erection, it suggests that it's more the pressure of performance or anxiety that's the issue rather than something physical. I would suggest talking to you partner about it. Maybe it's something you can work on together. Here are a few relevant articles from the LGBT HERO site: - www.lgbthero.org.uk/erection-problems- www.lgbthero.org.uk/fs160-penis-anxiety-is-impacting-gay-mens-self-esteem- www.lgbthero.org.uk/fs168-staying-hardI hope some of this helps and hopefully someone else on the forum can offer some advice. Liam, LGBT HERO |
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Laurette
Newbie
Femme lesbian, out and proud!
Posts: 33 
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Post by Laurette on Apr 10, 2022 16:26:06 GMT
You might be in the early stages of developing erectile dysfunction. When I was married to a man, he developed it in his early 30's.
A man's erection is based on blood circulation. Once I got past the "it's my fault" phase, we dealt with it. Meds worked well, in fact, too well; once he was on them, this is when he developed another problem, keeping his pants zipped when around other women. Anyway, he used Cialis and Viagra. He preferred Cialis because it didn't bring the blurry vision that Viagra did. I like Cialis too because it would allow for spontaneous sex throughout an entire weekend, where with Viagra, we had to time our sex. But Viagra remained my favorite, it provided a rock-hard erection that I could hang my heaviest winter parka on. Another reason he didn't like Viagra, we had to "do it" more before he ejaculated, which I had absolutely no problem with! I did learn something interesting in all of this, the next morning after we used Viagra, I gave him oral, hoping to stimulate him again. He wound up ejaculating in my mouth, while totally flaccid. I didn't think a man could do that. In that respect, I did like Cialis better.
In addition to meds, he also wore a cock ring. He used the triple ring; one ring around the shaft, one around the scrotum, and one again around the shaft, closer to the rest of his body, in a diagonal position. This increased his girth, prolonged his erections, and made for more forceful ejaculations.
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Post by sedgwickbottom on Apr 12, 2022 15:33:04 GMT
I have had problems in my 40's with getting and staying hard whilst having sex, have used sildenafil for about a year and works well for our sex sessions.Not sure it's as good as viagra, just the price difference I guess. Also tried using cock rings of different types and a 3 way as described above works well fro me.
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Laurette
Newbie
Femme lesbian, out and proud!
Posts: 33
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Post by Laurette on Apr 14, 2022 16:16:51 GMT
Sildenafil is Viagra. Mayby your med bottles are labeled Sildenafil because you're using a generic, where Viagra is a brand name. That's my guess. It's been 13 years since I was with a man on ED meds, and five years since I had intercourse with a man.
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