I'm Avocado a new member of the LGBT Hero team. I am non-binary, queer, white and neurodivergent. My profile pic is worryingly accurate.
I wanted to talk about something if find really interesting. I saw a trailer for this documentary (not actually watched it) Do I Sound Gay? And I think thats a really interesting topic. What makes us sound/look gay/queer/trans? Is it different to different age groups, and cultures. Do we mind looking or sounding gay?
I look VERY gay, you would have to be very oblivious to not realise there was some queerness going on, and that's my choice and I'm chill with it. I know there is probably a rich history of why shaved heads and dungarees = queer person.
There is also the pressure to look queer. Is this something you can relate to? I found an interesting article HERE an interesting point the author says 'My heart was hurting because the notion of “found family” is central to the LGBTQIA experience. I wanted that, I yearned for it. And the only way I seemed to be able to come close to getting it was to change my outward appearance to fit in.'
If you would like to watch Do I Sound Gay at Umbrella Hangouts or discuss this further please let us know!
From the wiki on that film "I felt bad about being effeminate and how my voice was the leading edge of my effeminacy" is something I can TOTALLY relate to. I'm constantly self-checking the pitch of my voice because I'm self-conscious about it sounding effeminate. I think it's a habit I picked up after being bullied as a kid about my voice, but honestly it's just the way it's always been! It doesn't help that some parts of gay culture really fetishise and elevate stereotypically masculine traits like a deep voice.... Wonder how many other people experience this.
Post by orangeyounglink on Sept 20, 2022 21:14:04 GMT
Thanks for the intriguing thread - I was an intern for HERO in 2020 (had to make a new account since I no longer have access to the email I originally registered with) and it's great to see this type of conversation on the forum. Since you shared how you identify, I'll share a bit about me too! I'm white, queer, nonbinary/transmasculine, neurodivergent, able-bodied, & low-income.
I'm an older member of Gen Z, so I may be younger than you and have a different way of "looking gay" than you, but I definitely know what you're getting at. I definitely associate unconventional styles with "looking gay" - shaved heads, mullets, dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, generally alternative presentations and the like. I feel like I definitely look queer, which in some ways is intentional. For example, I take testosterone because I want to look more androgynous and a bit masculine, and I dress fairly masculine but I do like the occasional form-fitting jumpsuit. But for the most part, I just dress how I like and what makes me feel most like myself. At the same time, I do like being identifiable by other queer folks as a member of the community - solidarity and whatnot.
In my more formative years when I was newly out, I definitely felt a lot more pressure to look gay/queer in order to feel valid. It took lots of time and self-exploration for me to feel confident enough to be indifferent to those pressures. But I'm sure cis femmes feel that pressure way differently than I do, I'd be interested to hear if others feel differently even being comfortable in their identity.
I'll have to look into that documentary it sounds like some good food for thought. Maybe I'll return to this thread when I get a chance to watch it !
Hi, I'm new. Out in my world nowhere else however. This is more along the questions then am I or do I sound/ look gay. I've never come out I've never acted like or been gay/trans in public. However I get called gay/homo all the time. What am I doing that people think or call me gay.
This is something I thought about a lot whilst growing up and can relate to this. I remember being younger and actively trying to change my voice when speaking for fear of being "outed" per say. Had already been bullied for being a PoC and growing up in an area of deprivation so essentially didn't want to add fuel to the fire!