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Divorce
Nov 17, 2022 14:03:44 GMT
via mobile
Post by englishlad on Nov 17, 2022 14:03:44 GMT
Hey guys, gay guy in my early 30’s and going through a divorce from my husband
We broke up 18 months ago but now the home we shared is being sold a lot of issues have arisen in terms of my mental health and just wondered if anyone else has been through a divorce and any tips on getting through it?
I’ve used drinking to get through the last 18 months and slowly using it less which is probably the reason I’m not experiencing what I’m feeling but also the loss of my home in like a month and having to move in with my parents makes me feel like an absolute failure tbh
I don’t know, I tell myself I will find happiness again one day but right now I think I need to sort my head etc out
He’s also moved on which is fine but says he wants a friendship that works with his new relationship but when I wanted a friendship straight after he said no so I feel as if he’s dropping me and using me when he wants.
Anyway enough room and gloom and I am just looking forward to chatting to new ppl on here and getting through this dark chapter of my life
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Post by Piltover on Nov 21, 2022 12:27:52 GMT
Hey englishlad, Thanks so much for sharing, that sounds like a super challenging time you're going through at the moment. Divorce can be really tough on both parties especially where shared living spaces are involved. Our experiences are different, but I can relate to how you're feeling. I had to live with an ex I broke up with for 9 months and found it was really tough on my mental health as well. Feeling safe and secure in our own homes is so key to sense of stability and when that's interrupted over the long term it can be really draining. You're leaving in a month, so I'll refrain from sharing the tips that helped me while we were living together, also I'm guessing you've developed coping strategies over the past 18 months! It's really understandable to feel down at the moment but hopefully the move home with your parents (which is really common, I know lots of people who've done it temporarily in their thirties!) is short-lived and you'll be able to focus on bolstering your wellbeing. It can take a while to feel that sense of wholeness again, but it does and will return. Do you have a support network of friends and family who are helping you through? Having people around you, whether physically or just at the end of a phone can really help. I know it idi for me. As for drinking to get through it, I've also been there. You don't mention how often you've been drinking to get through the experience but if you ever feel like it's becoming a problem, or if you'd just like to talk to someone about your use, then I'd recommend Antidote, which runs 1-2-1 drop-ins for LGBTQ+ people where they can chat about that kind of stuff. It's really easy to access and the service is wonderful. You just get to chat to worker about how you feel about your use and what's going on with you. It's totally non-judgemental and they're there to support you in whatever choices you make. Another place I'd recommend to call is Switchboard, which is the country's longest running LGBTQ+ helpline. You can have a talk with them about how you're feeling, and maybe they can point you toward a service or group that might help you move forward? Whether that be a social group, or an LGBTQ+ therapist. You can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630, 10am-10pm, 365 days a year. Like I've said above, my experience is different from yours, but things do get better after separating from a partner, even though things can feel quite bleak while it's happening. If you're ever in need of a place to chat, or just want some distraction, you're always welcome here on these forums. And if you can think of any specific forms of support you'd like to access, just ask and we might be able to point you in the right direction. Take care of yourself. Piltover
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