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Post by sarahdee89 on Dec 5, 2022 15:09:34 GMT
I'm a woman in my thirties, and after about 20 years of noticing that I am attracted to women, I've realised I am bi. I ignored these feelings about women, just putting it down to 'girl crushes' or an appreciation of a woman's beauty but not actually wanting sex or a relationship with a woman, but I've realised now that I am actually open to that. But I am in a relationship with a man who is wonderful & I love him. I guess I'm thinking about what could've been if I'd realised or been brave enough to explore this part of myself earlier. I've never even kissed or been on a date with a woman, so I have zero experience, but I know I fancy them & would be open to dating women if I was single. Basically I finally feel brave enough, but I can't do anything about it because I'm with someone. I don't want to cheat or hurt my partner by ending things so I can explore this. I've told him about all this, and he's been so understanding. It's causing me a lot of emotional distress and making me depressed. Like, it's liberating to finally feel comfortable with this part of me, but I can't do anything about it. I guess I'm just wondering now, where the hell do I go from here? I'm not expecting anyone to have the answer to that. I guess I'm just looking to talk to oeople who are or have been in a similar situation.
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Post by avocado on Dec 6, 2022 14:00:20 GMT
linkHi Saradee89 I think a lot of people can relate to what you are saying. Lots of people want to explore more than they have had the opportunity to. You are bisexual no matter if you have dated a woman or not, and you can celebrate that through things like pride events and community meetings. If you are thinking this is not enough, and you really want to experience a woman romantically you could have a discussion with your boyfriend about an open relationship. You may like this organisation thisisbiscuit.org.uk and you are welcome at our umbrella hangouts, (info HERE). You are finding out who you are, and it's great you feel it's liberating at the same time. All the best Avo
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Post by Saathi on Dec 6, 2022 16:36:14 GMT
Hi, I'm one of the LGBT HERO team. Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to read you are experiencing emotional distress and feeling depressed. From reading your post you are going through a difficult time, sounds like a lot, right now. I'm glad you have been in touch with us. It's sounds like you are beginning to accept who you are, and you were able to talk to your partner who is understanding. This all sounds like a healthy start. Good to read you are feeling liberated too. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community I personally, found it a very difficult time to accept who I was and found it difficult to see a positive future. In time, as I reached out more to others by forums and attending LGBTQ+ groups, where I felt safe, I became happier in myself; by taking small steps to realise a realistic future. My family and friends now accept who I am and although your experiences are unique to you, I just wanted to let you know I hear you. Everyone’s journey is unique – just take your time. I have also seen the other side and used to run a peer support for married people (mainly men) who had same sex feelings in whether they were married or in a relationship, and having a space to talk helped them. So, I just wanted to say again thank you for reaching out. By reaching out you are already doing something. You could try this forum >> lgbthero.forums.net/board/6/sexuality-gender-identityIt's important to get support for any emotional distress you are experiencing. We are not doctors, here at LGBT HERO, so we would recommend, if you feel safe to do so, it might worth you heading to your GP and having a mental health check-up. This can be daunting. They might, however, be able to give you some useful advice on the symptoms your experiencing, and you could get some information that makes this all that much easier. Alternatively, you could contact LGBT Switchboard to talk to someone in the first instance switchboard.lgbtI would also consider focusing on your self-care. Please see some info below. Let us know if this has helped and please reply back if you need to. There are things you can do to lift your mood right away, here's an resource about mood-enhancing self-care that might help you out: www.lgbthero.org.uk/7-ways-to-improve-your-mental-health |
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Post by sarahdee89 on Dec 7, 2022 14:23:49 GMT
linkHi Saradee89 I think a lot of people can relate to what you are saying. Lots of people want to explore more than they have had the opportunity to. You are bisexual no matter if you have dated a woman or not, and you can celebrate that through things like pride events and community meetings. If you are thinking this is not enough, and you really want to experience a woman romantically you could have a discussion with your boyfriend about an open relationship. You may like this organisation thisisbiscuit.org.uk and you are welcome at our umbrella hangouts, (info HERE). You are finding out who you are, and it's great you feel it's liberating at the same time. All the best Avo Thank you for your reply. Yes, I know I am bisexual even if I haven't been out with a woman. I know my partner wouldn't want an open relationship & neither would I. It's just personally not for us. |
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Post by sarahdee89 on Dec 7, 2022 14:28:37 GMT
Hi, I'm one of the LGBT HERO team. Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to read you are experiencing emotional distress and feeling depressed. From reading your post you are going through a difficult time, sounds like a lot, right now. I'm glad you have been in touch with us. It's sounds like you are beginning to accept who you are, and you were able to talk to your partner who is understanding. This all sounds like a healthy start. Good to read you are feeling liberated too. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community I personally, found it a very difficult time to accept who I was and found it difficult to see a positive future. In time, as I reached out more to others by forums and attending LGBTQ+ groups, where I felt safe, I became happier in myself; by taking small steps to realise a realistic future. My family and friends now accept who I am and although your experiences are unique to you, I just wanted to let you know I hear you. Everyone’s journey is unique – just take your time. I have also seen the other side and used to run a peer support for married people (mainly men) who had same sex feelings in whether they were married or in a relationship, and having a space to talk helped them. So, I just wanted to say again thank you for reaching out. By reaching out you are already doing something. You could try this forum >> lgbthero.forums.net/board/6/sexuality-gender-identityIt's important to get support for any emotional distress you are experiencing. We are not doctors, here at LGBT HERO, so we would recommend, if you feel safe to do so, it might worth you heading to your GP and having a mental health check-up. This can be daunting. They might, however, be able to give you some useful advice on the symptoms your experiencing, and you could get some information that makes this all that much easier. Alternatively, you could contact LGBT Switchboard to talk to someone in the first instance switchboard.lgbtI would also consider focusing on your self-care. Please see some info below. Let us know if this has helped and please reply back if you need to. There are things you can do to lift your mood right away, here's an resource about mood-enhancing self-care that might help you out: www.lgbthero.org.uk/7-ways-to-improve-your-mental-healthDan Thanks for your reply & words of wisdom. They were very helpful. I will think about contacting Switchboard. Are they happy to just listen to what's going on with you & how you're feeling? |
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Post by Saathi on Dec 8, 2022 16:02:55 GMT
Yes they are happy to just listen. They are compassionate listeners. It's great to know they have been running since 1974 and therefore lots of experience in listening. Everything is confidential. All the volunteers identify as LGBTQ+.
Hope it goes well for you.
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Post by larneks on Jan 3, 2023 16:40:40 GMT
I think it is ok to realize this. And people of course shouldn't ignore those things, it's like betray oneself. I also remember such feelings and it was a weird feeling for me back then, but of course i had to do this, because it was right in my society. Surey now i'm grown up and can openly wear lgbt pride pins to express myself and can openly talk about my sexual orientation and also because i feel myself more free idk. Anyway this is what i feel right now |
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