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Post by gemini on Dec 29, 2022 0:25:28 GMT
Hi. I’m 32 and female. I came out as a lesbian four years ago and felt like I had finally found the missing piece of the puzzle. I’m in a relationship with a woman, and have been for three and a half years. But I’m really struggling. We don’t have sex, which doesn’t really bother me, but it bothers her. It’s made me question whether I’m asexual. I’ve never been very interested in sex, and as a teenager didn’t really understand it and was scared of it. Then I lost my virginity by sexual assault. So I don’t know if I’m asexual or just have deep trauma. Also recently I have put on weight and it’s made me really uncomfortable because my boobs are bigger. I used to dress very androgynously but can’t do that as much now with curves. It’s made me question my gender identity. My partner has said she would love me to wear more structured bras and show a bit of cleavage, but the thought of that makes me feel a bit sick. I don’t have any LGBTQ friends to talk to about this, and I’m estranged from my immediate family so I feel very alone. Any advice, or friendship, would be greatly appreciated.
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Post by Saathi on Dec 29, 2022 11:52:52 GMT
Hi there and thanks for your post. Sorry to hear you are really struggling and the trauma's you have and are living through; and reaching out on a forum is a healthy start. Sounds like you are going through a lot and I hope the below reply helps. Questioning our gender identity can be an uncertain time and talking this through or attending an online or in person group, when one is ready to do so, can be another step forwards. Feeling very alone can also be a sign that it may help to talk to someone to unpack your feeling or just to be listened to. I have also been in situations in the past where I have not had the confidence or felt comfortable to talk to anyone but I am glad I eventually did. Would you consider talking to someone such as LGBT SWITCHBOARD, very supportive and great listeners and all private and confidential? I also feel always wear what makes yourself feel comfortable. Here are some links for you below and let us know how you get on: www.lgbthero.org.uk/pages/category/self-careswitchboard.lgbt 0300 330 0630 Open 10:00-22:00 every day www.lgbthero.org.uk/what-is-asexualityThere are also various online groups we have that you may be interested in >> www.lgbthero.org.uk/Pages/Events/Category/upcoming-hangoutsHope this reply helps |
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Post by vikki on Apr 1, 2023 8:36:56 GMT
Hi,
I have only started to question my sexuality in the last year.
I have been looking up all sorts to find out what I am.
Sex doesn't appeal to me really but then I have only been with one person (male) my whole life. I started to like this women and I still don't know but I would love to know her better.
Sex is a very intimate thing. I can't speak for labels but I have learned that communication is always key. In any relationship really.
Have you spoken to your partner about how you feel?
Have you discussed what you like/ dislike about sex?
As for you body image... Only you can decide how you feel about the way you look. Be confident in yourself no matter what your size and if you do not like something - you can choose to change it or not.
If the sexual assault has impacted you - maybe seek some counselling?
Communication with your partner should help you with this... They will wants what's best for you and do everything they can to help you.
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