Parents destroyed my binder and it's almost my bday

i didnt know where else to put this. But yea i've had my binder for about a month now and my dad searched my phone last night and saw me talk about my binder like once with my friend. he made me watch as he cut it into a million pieces and throw it in the trash.... and my birthday is in less than a week. so yea happy bday to me lol i cant have anything good going for myself. oh and its also almost a new semester with new classes and i thought i would maybe have a better shot at passing as male this time around but now thats gooone. i've been so much less dysphoric with it and now i know imma start spiraling and probably falling back into self harm. idk just a rant i guess but yea this sucks, i can barely even pass with a binder s without it i'm hopeless