Even more exporation.
Jan 26, 2023 12:39:59 GMT
Post by james on Jan 26, 2023 12:39:59 GMT
In regards to my previous entries I wanted to try and tell some more about how things have been progressing over recent times.
I’ve actually been seeking help and advice about this for some time. I first started communicating what I’ve been saying on here back in the spring of 2021 during the lockdown and through online correspondence. We discussed through live chats the kind of thing that I’ve already mentioned here and we talked about meaning and interpretation and they-an expert on gender identity and counselling-suggested that I try experimentation and exercising my curiosity.
It was about September 2021 and I was thinking a lot about what they had said to me and had become intrigued by how I could do it, so after thinking hard I plucked up the courage to find a way to do this.
I began by looking online for ideas and suggestions and eventually I came across a site where you could meet up with members of the community.
I wanted to be careful however, so I started doing all this cautiously.
Eventually I made contact with someone not far from me and I was curious about their profile.
I won’t tell you their identity but they were a crossdresser and we managed to establish some kind of contact between us via emails. After learning some friendly info from each other we agreed to met up at their place, which was not far away.
I drove to that part of town and parked up, and at the right time they sent a text with the right address and I found it.
They opened the door and although I was very nervous I tried to remain calm and polite.
They were dressed up in full drag, like you see on shows like RuPaul’s drag race and invited me in.
But here’s the thing-although I saw them in full drag, with hair and make-up, I didn’t find it uncomfortable at all.
There are some people out there who would feel uneasy being in the presence of this sort of thing but for me I didn’t feel that at all.
I looked at them standing in front of me and in my own mind I simply saw another human being who was no different to anyone else I’ve seen that day. They were just a person wearing women’s clothing and that was it, and I felt completely okay with it.
They escorted me into their bedroom and we sat down on the bed. I was really nervous and tried to stay calm but I think they could sense that and tried to make me relaxed.
I Won’t go into too much detail but it wasn’t too strong or lurid either. We just started cuddling and hugging each other, and mostly embraced but the fact I felt quite nervous and they could sense it meant that I think they didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable either.
We embraced and again I felt quite okay with it, mostly at ease. I’ve tried this before with women and yet doing this with a crossdresser-feeling the texture of the clothes against me, the hair-didn’t feel any different.
The conversation was quite stilted from me I’m afraid. I’ve never been a very good conversationalist but they seemed to understand.
Eventually we laid down together and the cuddling continued (fully dressed) and again having been with women before I strangely enough felt quite at ease with it all.
I won’t go into precise details but we didn’t become too intimate but for some reason I actually quite enjoyed it. I looked at them and somehow my mind could ‘see’ beyond the clothing and make-up and that I could see another person was there.
Eventually the time was up and I had to leave. I Thanked them for the experience and they were sincere and friendly.
On the way to the door I stopped and thanked them one more time and in that moment there was a small part of me that just wanted to ask them one more thing-out of intense curiosity could I just give them a kiss?
At that exact moment there was something inside of me that so yearned to know what that would feel like-but I didn’t.
I have never done anything like that before but was so eager to know.
I bade them a friendly goodbye and left but deep inside I felt pretty bad for letting my nerves get the better. I felt embarrassed for appearing so quiet and shy and sent a text apologising but they seemed to understand.
That was over a year ago and since then I’ve become more relaxed and accustomed in that time.
Therefore, recently I’ve started to wonder if I should somehow try again, to try and have another go in a similar manner.
I’ve been trying to look at websites and figuring out how to overcome my hesitancy and nervousness in the conversational area.
I feel that I’m now ready to try this once more and would be interested to see if anyone would give any thoughts for me on this.
I’ve actually been seeking help and advice about this for some time. I first started communicating what I’ve been saying on here back in the spring of 2021 during the lockdown and through online correspondence. We discussed through live chats the kind of thing that I’ve already mentioned here and we talked about meaning and interpretation and they-an expert on gender identity and counselling-suggested that I try experimentation and exercising my curiosity.
It was about September 2021 and I was thinking a lot about what they had said to me and had become intrigued by how I could do it, so after thinking hard I plucked up the courage to find a way to do this.
I began by looking online for ideas and suggestions and eventually I came across a site where you could meet up with members of the community.
I wanted to be careful however, so I started doing all this cautiously.
Eventually I made contact with someone not far from me and I was curious about their profile.
I won’t tell you their identity but they were a crossdresser and we managed to establish some kind of contact between us via emails. After learning some friendly info from each other we agreed to met up at their place, which was not far away.
I drove to that part of town and parked up, and at the right time they sent a text with the right address and I found it.
They opened the door and although I was very nervous I tried to remain calm and polite.
They were dressed up in full drag, like you see on shows like RuPaul’s drag race and invited me in.
But here’s the thing-although I saw them in full drag, with hair and make-up, I didn’t find it uncomfortable at all.
There are some people out there who would feel uneasy being in the presence of this sort of thing but for me I didn’t feel that at all.
I looked at them standing in front of me and in my own mind I simply saw another human being who was no different to anyone else I’ve seen that day. They were just a person wearing women’s clothing and that was it, and I felt completely okay with it.
They escorted me into their bedroom and we sat down on the bed. I was really nervous and tried to stay calm but I think they could sense that and tried to make me relaxed.
I Won’t go into too much detail but it wasn’t too strong or lurid either. We just started cuddling and hugging each other, and mostly embraced but the fact I felt quite nervous and they could sense it meant that I think they didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable either.
We embraced and again I felt quite okay with it, mostly at ease. I’ve tried this before with women and yet doing this with a crossdresser-feeling the texture of the clothes against me, the hair-didn’t feel any different.
The conversation was quite stilted from me I’m afraid. I’ve never been a very good conversationalist but they seemed to understand.
Eventually we laid down together and the cuddling continued (fully dressed) and again having been with women before I strangely enough felt quite at ease with it all.
I won’t go into precise details but we didn’t become too intimate but for some reason I actually quite enjoyed it. I looked at them and somehow my mind could ‘see’ beyond the clothing and make-up and that I could see another person was there.
Eventually the time was up and I had to leave. I Thanked them for the experience and they were sincere and friendly.
On the way to the door I stopped and thanked them one more time and in that moment there was a small part of me that just wanted to ask them one more thing-out of intense curiosity could I just give them a kiss?
At that exact moment there was something inside of me that so yearned to know what that would feel like-but I didn’t.
I have never done anything like that before but was so eager to know.
I bade them a friendly goodbye and left but deep inside I felt pretty bad for letting my nerves get the better. I felt embarrassed for appearing so quiet and shy and sent a text apologising but they seemed to understand.
That was over a year ago and since then I’ve become more relaxed and accustomed in that time.
Therefore, recently I’ve started to wonder if I should somehow try again, to try and have another go in a similar manner.
I’ve been trying to look at websites and figuring out how to overcome my hesitancy and nervousness in the conversational area.
I feel that I’m now ready to try this once more and would be interested to see if anyone would give any thoughts for me on this.
