Need Advice on Navigating Challenges in Long-Distance Open R

Hi Shaun and welcome to LGBT HERO Forums. Sorry you are going through a complex time at the moment. Long distance relationships can work well and sometimes they can be difficult to navigate. Was an open relationship what you both want or still want? Sometimes people are just more private than others about intimate details or detail and this is maybe triggering your anxiety. Be reassured you have been in a relationships for 2 years so this matters. How often do you see each other in person?

Open relationships can be very successful based on trust and the boundaries that have been agreed. Sometimes when we do this verbally we may have different ideas of what this may mean. Sometimes writing these agreements down and both referring back to it might help.

We also change and develop once we are in a relationship and a monthly or 3 monthly check-in is worth doing with oneself and each other. This link might help >> www.lgbthero.org.uk/fs164-open-relationships-do-rules-really-matter

In my own personal experience when I was in an open relationship it left me feeling insecure and feeling I was going to lose my partner and my anxiety got worse. I used to get jealous and insecure. But by regular monthly check-in things improved when I accepted myself more, validate myself more and listened to what was happening. In essence our communication improved by listening to one another. Sometimes I did this through talking or writing a letter.

Communication is key. Explain to them how you are feeling. Talking through issues is often a great way of unpacking what you’re feeling and move forward as a couple.

So I guess it might be a good to time to ask your partner whether you can have both have a safe time (so no interruptions) where you could listen to each others concerns without interrupting or being defensive. It quite common to have anxiety in relationships and fears of losing someone. If you are constantly thinking about this then focus on your self-care and what works for you when you feel like this, to be calmer (positive talking to yourself, exercise, walking, reading, listening to music, meditation, yoga etc - a better sleep routine). www.lgbthero.org.uk/pages/category/self-care

Have you also tried talking - unpacking this with say a counsellor, therapist or helpline? www.lgbthero.org.uk/find-support

There is a good book I would recommend called The Velvet Rage and another one called Straightjacket.

Hope the above helps.

Best wishes