How to be happy as a gay living in a super religious country
Feb 27, 2024 10:29:53 GMT
Post by Aromato on Feb 27, 2024 10:29:53 GMT
My apologies for the novel I’m going to send!
I think the title says it all... I’m a 30yrs old, closeted homosexual living in Iran. Living in Iran is super depressive on its own and I don’t want to dive into that discussion right now. I myself was very religious but eventually found it hard to believe in a religion that denies who I am. This opened my eyes on the other dark sides of Islamic beliefs and I'm Atheist right now.
Aside usual life difficulties, as a gay it’s even harder to be happy in Iran. Society is either super religious or super homophobic and I feel it’s impossible to find a safe group to open up. Even my closest friends don’t know my sexual orientation.
I’ve learnt to accept it and usually I feel fine and happy, I’ve started learning guitar for about a year and happy with my YouTube-Taught progress. You may find it hard to believe but many people insulted me for this and found it to be gay to learn guitar!!! This is the kind of environment I live in.
I don’t leave my room that much aside from going to work. I like watching movies and series and also playing PS5. I also have few close friends, but we usually are connected using social media. These things make me happy. My English is also acceptable without much education, and I like this about myself. I usually watch media without subtitle.
I’m usually happy for months and feel sad maybe for a couple of days and I’ll be fine again. But recently I’m going through tough times and the sad days are becoming more and more common.
There’s been a new coworker that I’m developing strong feeling towards him. He’s straight and acts friendly, we’ve talked and laughed many times he's also a guitar player. But I’m always the conversation starter and I’m starting to feel that I’m hurting myself knowing that he will never look at me as more than a friend and probably not even a close friend... I’ve tested him... if I don’t text him or talk to him even for a week, he won’t check on me, but I will think of him for the whole week and I hate this feeling. I don’t want to be sad and drown in thoughts of him.
Please help me how could I handle this situation. Should I take some distance from him to maybe maintain my emotions, or should I completely avoid him and cut him out of my life?
I’m not sure I’ll be able to do either.
but a bigger question is how could I be happy in the long run? I usually feel happy when I ignore the future, but the truth is I’ll probably always be alone (romantically) and I’m a good person who deserves to be loved. last night I burst into tears by thinking about it... eventually I felt better when I went for a walk with my friend... but that didn't change the fact about what's going to happen in the future...
I think the title says it all... I’m a 30yrs old, closeted homosexual living in Iran. Living in Iran is super depressive on its own and I don’t want to dive into that discussion right now. I myself was very religious but eventually found it hard to believe in a religion that denies who I am. This opened my eyes on the other dark sides of Islamic beliefs and I'm Atheist right now.
Aside usual life difficulties, as a gay it’s even harder to be happy in Iran. Society is either super religious or super homophobic and I feel it’s impossible to find a safe group to open up. Even my closest friends don’t know my sexual orientation.
I’ve learnt to accept it and usually I feel fine and happy, I’ve started learning guitar for about a year and happy with my YouTube-Taught progress. You may find it hard to believe but many people insulted me for this and found it to be gay to learn guitar!!! This is the kind of environment I live in.
I don’t leave my room that much aside from going to work. I like watching movies and series and also playing PS5. I also have few close friends, but we usually are connected using social media. These things make me happy. My English is also acceptable without much education, and I like this about myself. I usually watch media without subtitle.
I’m usually happy for months and feel sad maybe for a couple of days and I’ll be fine again. But recently I’m going through tough times and the sad days are becoming more and more common.
There’s been a new coworker that I’m developing strong feeling towards him. He’s straight and acts friendly, we’ve talked and laughed many times he's also a guitar player. But I’m always the conversation starter and I’m starting to feel that I’m hurting myself knowing that he will never look at me as more than a friend and probably not even a close friend... I’ve tested him... if I don’t text him or talk to him even for a week, he won’t check on me, but I will think of him for the whole week and I hate this feeling. I don’t want to be sad and drown in thoughts of him.
Please help me how could I handle this situation. Should I take some distance from him to maybe maintain my emotions, or should I completely avoid him and cut him out of my life?
I’m not sure I’ll be able to do either.
but a bigger question is how could I be happy in the long run? I usually feel happy when I ignore the future, but the truth is I’ll probably always be alone (romantically) and I’m a good person who deserves to be loved. last night I burst into tears by thinking about it... eventually I felt better when I went for a walk with my friend... but that didn't change the fact about what's going to happen in the future...
