szev
Newbie
Posts: 1
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Post by szev on Jun 21, 2024 8:35:43 GMT
I'm a man in my early 20's. I've been attracted to feminine looking men for many years. I've never been in any relationship, but i'm tired of being alone, so i want to do something about it, but i don't know if going for this specific type of person is the way to go. I've started reading about it and i don't really know what to do. Some people say that it's just a phase or i should think how a relationship like that would look after 10 or 20 years when we are no longer young. Would i still be attracted to him if he stopped being feminine? Well, i probably wouldn't. But if i was with a girl and after 20 years she suddenly started looking like a man and acting all masculine i wouldn't want to be with her too. But does that mean i should just stay alone for the rest of my life because my hypothetical lover, after 20 years, could just do a 180° with their personality? Even if i found a femboy (which doesn't really seem possible as and average guy), would it end in a disaster after 10 years when we are no longer so young? I don't know maybe i should just go for a prostitute and it would go away.
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Post by Saathi on Jun 26, 2024 11:39:58 GMT
Hi there and thanks for your post. Most people have sexual desires in some way or another. This means we find other people attractive and think about them in a sexual way. Some people want to have sex with other people, whereas others are happy to just think about it. Sexuality is about how you think and feel about sex. Healthy sexuality is about having a confident, comfortable and communicative attitude towards yourself and your sexual desires, whether you want to have sex or not. I would say take your time. It's often the person(s) we are interested in, in terms of a relationship, where the values of each other are respected and/or accepted. Sexuality and attraction can become fluid for some people as we get older. When I was younger (and even now sometimes) I used to overthink and look into the future of what might happen, which often triggered more anxiety and fear. So many years ago I realised the importance of self-care and taking small steps, when I was ready to do so. www.lgbthero.org.uk/pages/category/self-careAnd it is perfectly okay to be attracted to whoever you are attracted, without perhaps thinking too much into the future. Sorry you feel tired of being alone, this sounds tough and this is hopefully you are working towards making better by taking small steps. The more you perhaps are able to attend social (in person or online) activity, the more people you will meet and make friends, which is always a healthy place. Looks of anyone change over time as we get older and some folxs might become more masc or fem over time, but I find it is more than just the surface looks I am attracted too. Probably not over-planning what might or might not happen may help. Do you go to any LGBTQ+ places where you feel safe to socialise? Sometimes these can sober events such as a games, sports, cinema etc. Here are some perhaps useful links: www.lgbthero.org.uk/what-is-sexualitywww.lgbthero.org.uk/Pages/Category/hangoutswww.lgbthero.org.uk/find-supportBest wishes and stay in touch |
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