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Post by Piltover on Feb 10, 2020 14:18:06 GMT
Hey there OutLifers, This week our topic is inspired by Philip Schofield's exit from the closet. At the age of 57 he's come out as gay and has the support of his wife and daughters in his decision: www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-51443989So what are your experiences of coming out later in life? How much difference does it make to have the support of your family when doing so? Gogogogogogo..... Justin xx |
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Post by Matt on Feb 10, 2020 14:37:29 GMT
I came out at age 62 and it was life changing, even at my age. I felt like a new person.
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elaine57
Newbie
Feeling more positive.
Posts: 19
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Post by elaine57 on Feb 10, 2020 14:49:33 GMT
I came out at 61 and it had been incredibly hard. I think l found it so confusing before realising l was on the Asexual spectrum. After reading about this and feeling it was definitely me l started to feel better about myself. My family but especially my husband have been amazing, it has been a very difficult year for him. I have felt suicidal and friends and family have been there for me. Counselling also helped. At this point l think l would describe myself as bi romantic possibly pan, Asexual.
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Post by Scott on Feb 10, 2020 16:05:35 GMT
hi I'm Scott and was born in 1969. I grew up in motherwell which was a very butch, Masonic, sectarian area dominated by steel works. in my early years men like John Inman and Larry grayson represented my community. they were non threatening and effeminate. I knew I was different but I couldn't associate myself with them. the aids crisis and clause 28 further made me feel excluded. my faith also reinforced I was against human nature and gods law. I lived a loveless life till I was 48 and flew to the Philippines where I held hands with my first gay partner. recently on TV I'm glad we have a wide diversity of LGBTQ family. Rugby players, sportsmen, actors and mps. at 50 I feel more included in society and TVs portrayal of our community has helped so much. no more self harming and self loathing for me.
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Post by 50veryconfuciusman on Feb 11, 2020 11:59:49 GMT
Hi.
I'm in a similar situation I guess but it feels way worse as I'm slightly older, 50 this year. I guess I've been a closeted gay man all my life, trying to do the marriage, daughter, etc. Ok the marriage didn't last but I've been in a straight relationship for past 10 years. Unbeknownst to me, I've had a giant aneurysm for 36 years, the result of a motorcycle accident, helmet less, that in 2016 decided it was time to burst. 4 days in a coma, a platinum coil where the bleed was, and then 4 years of trying to work out who I am now, the person I was before has gone, everything I had a lid on and control of, no more, I guess you could call it the Phil effect. I understand the suicidal thoughts, I have them daily, will I act on them? No way, couldn't do it to my daughter or grandchildren now. I was brought up Roman Catholic in the 70's, so my gay shame is off the charts plus I'm trying to recover from a brain haemorraghe that really should have killed me. I have seen the 3d scan of my head, I have no logical explanation for why I'm still here, but I am. And GAY, I had a breakdown in December 2018 and kind of came out then to my gf, daughter, close friend, but then I back tracked and bottled it, who even does that? I have to come out at some point, at the moment I'm living a lie to please everyone else. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what I am, very confused.
Glen
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Post by Noel on Apr 18, 2020 19:35:31 GMT
Hi All i am in my 50s. I have tried to be a part time player as such. On the straight side marriage and family. Of the course the marriage failed. The kids are fantastic!
With the help of professional assistance i have come to accept i am gay. I am relieved to be coming out. Its a step process for me. I am happier as a person. But it is very difficult. If i had have come our earlier i would have avoided a lot mental illness issues. But but but i would not have my beautiful kids. Thats the hardest thing when i look back. I amazed how people treat so different because your sexual choices are different.
Also i so respect the young gay people who come. I admire you. I respect you and hope you have a great life.
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Post by nutsy on May 21, 2020 19:24:36 GMT
I'm 43 and I very very recently realised that I'm a bi guy.
I came out to my care coordinator over the phone today but I've yet to decide whether I'll come out to anyone else. I've still got a lot to come to terms with.
I like it here in Narnia but I suppose I can't stay forever.
Basically I'm really confused right now.
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Post by nutsy on May 22, 2020 15:59:12 GMT
Scratch that. Came out to my daughter, sister, ex wife and best friend yesterday. Daughter was surprised but happy to have a bi dad as she's pan herself. Ex wife wasn't surprised at all. Best friend just said "so?" Lol. Sister was supportive.
Came out to my other friends today, before coming out to the world at large via FB. No negative responses yet and I haven't lost any FB friends yet. Yet lol.
As far as I'm concerned I'm out to the world now. I'm not exactly going to be walking down the street with a bi pride flag draped over me, but I'm not hiding anything from anyone anymore. What the saying? Out and proud!
Edited to remove a really crass few lines.
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Post by simonjr on May 22, 2020 19:27:46 GMT
All sounds very positive, Nutsy. Cheers. Simon.  |
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Post by chrisjack on Jun 12, 2020 13:52:28 GMT
Hi. I'm in a similar situation I guess but it feels way worse as I'm slightly older, 50 this year. I guess I've been a closeted gay man all my life, trying to do the marriage, daughter, etc. Ok the marriage didn't last but I've been in a straight relationship for past 10 years. Unbeknownst to me, I've had a giant aneurysm for 36 years, the result of a motorcycle accident, helmet less, that in 2016 decided it was time to burst. 4 days in a coma, a platinum coil where the bleed was, and then 4 years of trying to work out who I am now, the person I was before has gone, everything I had a lid on and control of, no more, I guess you could call it the Phil effect. I understand the suicidal thoughts, I have them daily, will I act on them? No way, couldn't do it to my daughter or grandchildren now. I was brought up Roman Catholic in the 70's, so my gay shame is off the charts plus I'm trying to recover from a brain haemorraghe that really should have killed me. I have seen the 3d scan of my head, I have no logical explanation for why I'm still here, but I am. And GAY, I had a breakdown in December 2018 and kind of came out then to my gf, daughter, close friend, but then I back tracked and bottled it, who even does that? I have to come out at some point, at the moment I'm living a lie to please everyone else. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what I am, very confused. Glen |
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