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Post by regen on Apr 18, 2020 22:00:06 GMT
I'm in a straight relationship and I love my partner, but it breaks my heart that either I will never have a girlfriend, or I will break up with my current partner. I went through hell to come to terms with my sexuality and now it just feels like giving up. My boyfriend is really supportive and have said I can hook up with girls (I'm completely inexperienced with girls), but I worry it won't be enough. Any help would be really appreciated.
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Post by simonjr on Apr 19, 2020 9:57:48 GMT
Hi Regen
I am a gay man with autism so find it particularly hard to negotiate relationships. That being said, in my experience it really is best not to look too far into the future. At the moment you are seeing a plethora of scenarios and it is hard to work out which route to take?
It is wonderful that your boyfriend is okay with you having girlfriends. He may well be being generous at the moment but he may develop jealousy issues later on. I am sure you have already thought of that and that this is what worries you.
Conversely, you may find you explore being with girls but become satisfied you don't need to continue with it. As you have been through hell coming to terms with your bisexuality, you will probably not be happy until you explore it in some way, but take it in baby steps.
Only you are in your shoes and only you can decide what is best to do. May be have a bit of confidence to explore and you may make mistakes. We all make mistakes but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Warm wishes
Simon.
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Post by regen on Apr 19, 2020 22:09:45 GMT
Thank you! This is really wonderful non-judgemental, non patronising advice.
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Post by lynn84 on Apr 20, 2020 2:54:11 GMT
I feel you Regan. But it really is all about you. YOU need to realise you have the power. Nobody owns you or controls you. Even in a relationship. I love the fact your boyfriend is OK with it.
Maybe the first step is doing a threesome where you both explore this together and that way it becomes something you are on a journey together. But I understand that does not help with the emotional side you may be looking for. That I have no advice for you right now. Maybe someone else on here might be able to help with.
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Post by regen on Apr 21, 2020 11:59:00 GMT
Thanks lynn84
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Post by freedom2be on Jun 4, 2020 23:59:26 GMT
Hi Regen, what it feels for me is that you seem to be in between two completely different lines of destiny...You have mentioned coming to terms with your sexuality...I guess only you know your true feeling...I think it is important to discover what your true feelings and intentions are and the same goes for your current male partner...It is easy to say for him when you emotionally depend on someone and the coming out happens: Oh you can try same sex interaction...what he does not realise is that particular window he is opening can actually be the beginning of the end for him because maybe the girl you meet she does not want to share(many won't be)...You need some thinking to do...Maybe with the help of a counsellor you might decide how compatible you actually are with your boy or maybe you are gradually outgrowing him as your sexual interest in him is diminishing...Hopefully you can still care for him for a longer while but you need to be very honest with him if your heart is leading you to try to meet the woman of your life...coming out not necessarily implies getting lucky in love but many thousands of LGBT we come out every year even if our chances are odd in the end...It isn't a foolproof plan for success but if you keep caring for him maybe you guys can still be there for each other a little longer...A closer feeling of love doesn't grow easily sometimes even if out...So always take into account the new mental map in a way and conscious of the new emotional reality...
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