48 and think I am a lesbian

Hi Glass,

Thank you for contacting the Forums, hope we can help.

What you have described happens to many people.  People can change sexuality and preferences any time in life and even change back again.  Our bodies are not that static and hormones and brains vary hugely and can change for many reasons.  Sometimes triggers of some kind like you have outlined, suddenly bring about a new experience and change in direction.  I have a friend who aged 28 happened to go into a sex shop in the US with a friend just for fun - he saw gay porn for the first time and exclaimed out loud  'That's what's wrong with me - I'm GAY!'  There was nothing wrong with him, of course, it is just that he knew he wasn't fitting the expected male stereotype where he grew up and suddenly it clicked for him.  That was a long time ago and now he is happily partnered for many years now.

So many people say similar things.  If you look through many of the postings in the Forums here, you will see that you really are not alone.  Take heart and go with the flow, is what I would say.  Not everybody is sure of who they are sexually.

If you want to read something on 'Sexuality' there is a good resume on one of the OutLife pages.

www.outlife.org.uk/what-is-sexuality

Also, we always recommend you find time to phone the Switchboard.  10am - 10pm each day on 0300 330 0630.  You can chat to someone there who will be happy to reassure you.

With regard to whether or not you are Lesbian - I think in time you may find that label applies to you or may find that you are Bi.  It is up to you to decide what you feel describes you best.  Some people don't want or need a label but it helps in social situations sometimes for people to know that you have an LBGTQ+ identity.

Good advice on Coming-out can be found on the Stonewall website - www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/coming-out-0

Get back any time if you want to ask anything or talk about anything.

Best wishes.  Simon.