Ciaran
Newbie
Looking for other bi guys to talk to about your experiences balancing a marriage and being bi
Posts: 17 
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Post by Ciaran on Dec 7, 2020 11:55:31 GMT
Hi, I'm 47 and very happily married. But over the years my 'gay' side has asserted itself more and more and I am desperate to experience sex with a man. I don't intend to leave my wife, I just need a boyfriend on the side. I know how selfish this sounds but I am getting desperate. Is anybody else in a similar situation?
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Ciaran
Newbie
Looking for other bi guys to talk to about your experiences balancing a marriage and being bi
Posts: 17
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Post by Ciaran on Dec 7, 2020 22:21:34 GMT
I’d appreciate hearing from anyone who can relate on any level the struggle of acknowledging your homosexual wants and desires. To be clear I’m not looking for any man to fill the void. I have fallen in love with my best friend who has expressed curiosity and I believe would be willing to experiment with me. He also makes me feel very special in a way that I haven’t in ages. I just smile all the time I am around him. Help!
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Post by Martin on Dec 13, 2020 23:28:53 GMT
Hi
As someone who was very much in the same position as you, I believe only you can choose where you go with this. If you go with your desires then I doubt you can hold back. You may want to explore further. Then where will that leave you.
I could not ignore what my body was telling me. I was married. Was. I needed to experiment, to test myself, would I really enjoy what the fantasies where telling me. So impulsively I met a gay guy in his flat years ago. I was incredibly nervous, the man was brilliant though. I asked if I could kiss him. That was it. It felt totally right. Very natural. One thing led to another. My man told me, once you go with a man you can never go back. And that was how it began. I couldn’t deny myself. I couldn’t go back to a woman. My marriage was effectively over from that moment.
I have no regrets whatsoever other than I didn’t recognise my desires earlier in my life. But be absolutely sure you want this.
This is the reality I guess. But what comes with this is just an amazing feeling of just being you.
You know what, I’ve slept with men, I’ve made love with men, and have enjoyed every moment. This is me. Is that you?
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Ciaran
Newbie
Looking for other bi guys to talk to about your experiences balancing a marriage and being bi
Posts: 17
|
Post by Ciaran on Dec 21, 2020 15:55:36 GMT
Thanks Martin for responding to my thread. When I kissed my friend it felt good. It also felt good slipping my hand into his pants. But that’s as far as that has gone. He said he is curious but values me too much as a friend to risk ruining it. In my head I so want him to make love to me. But my dilemma is that I don’t want to hurt my wife. I feel so conflicted inside that it’s painful at times. How old were you when you first thought you might be attracted to men? I had a brief sexual experience with a friend when I was 11. He masturbated me to completion. It happened so quick but I often wish we’d done more. He was a very good looking guy. I asked my wife for her blessing to experiment but that didn’t go down well. I wish it had because I don’t want to go behind her back. I guess for now it’s just me and some gay porn and a wish that may never be fulfilled.
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Post by Martin on Dec 21, 2020 23:40:32 GMT
Hi Alpha
I believe I had thoughts when I was the same age as you. As I got older I felt I must have a girlfriend as that was normal. My sexuality took a big bump though. I was sexually assaulted by a man when 15 in the middle of the night. I became confused as years went by. Long long story but I had to eventually separate the assault and my desire for men. a counsellor suggested I was gay. And I didn’t deny it. It was the first time it sort of became open and it felt bloody good. I started to tell others. Mixed responses tbf, mainly cos I was partnered with a woman. One day in bed she asked me if I was asexual. I decided now was the right time to tell her that I was gay. Rather than alarm her it made total sense to her. She asked if she could therefore meet other men so I replied of course as long as I could do the same!! Funny but weird.
I didn’t enjoy being with a woman. It felt alien. Lying there with another man felt very right. I started to learn who I was attracted to and who I wasn’t. I live on my own atm and today a guy came round to do some work in the house. He was oriental. My type! I just stared at him! We looked at each other for more than a few seconds. Before he said who he was. Although I wfh i did talk a lot to this guy, he was pretty gorgeous actually, a nice body and smile. I wanted his number but didn’t commit. I got a buzz. I didn’t get that with a woman.
I didn’t plan to come out, but two moments enabled that to happen. No regrets. In fact telling my ex female partner was an amazing feeling actually. Just the words “I’m gay” was a very proud moment.
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