Married and desperately confused
Feb 25, 2021 16:03:16 GMT
Post by kuljit on Feb 25, 2021 16:03:16 GMT
Hi Simon
Thank you so much for posting your story and for being so open about your situation.
When I read your post I kept coming back to the bit where you said “I’m gay” and I wonder how you felt when you wrote that? You said that sometimes you feel empowered and sometimes you feel like a coward, but I think you’ve been very honest and brave in telling us your truth and I want to congratulate you for that.
Like you, I remember growing up before the internet and I remember feeling similar confusion about my sexuality as a teenager and young adult. I know a lot of people who took time to realise they were LGBTQ+ as they just didn’t have access to enough information when they were growing up.
There’s a really good article on coming out in later life on the GQ magazine website and you can find it here: www.gq.com/story/how-to-come-out-later-in-life .
There’s also this article in the Independent on the same topic from the perspective of a child of a parent who came out as gay later in life: www.independent.co.uk/voices/philip-schofield-gay-coming-out-lgbt-morning-instagram-parents-children-a9324196.html .
Our forum also has a thread on coming out in later life and you can access it here: outlife.forums.net/thread/118/coming-out-life .
I hope that reading other people’s experiences help you see that lots of people have been in a similar situation to you.
It might be helpful to talk things through with someone on the phone, especially if you’re still getting used to the idea of ‘coming out’ as gay and the LGBT switchboard provide a free and confidential service on 0300 330 0630 and you can find out more about them on their website switchboard.lgbt/about-us/ .
Don’t judge yourself for being in the situation you are in. Things will take time to work themselves out and try and take it step by step and day by day.
Find people that you can trust, and this might even include talking to a therapist or counsellor. London Friend (https://londonfriend.org.uk/ ) offer free counselling sessions that you might find useful.
Please let us know how you get on and I hope the next part of your journey goes smoothly.
Kuljit x
Thank you so much for posting your story and for being so open about your situation.
When I read your post I kept coming back to the bit where you said “I’m gay” and I wonder how you felt when you wrote that? You said that sometimes you feel empowered and sometimes you feel like a coward, but I think you’ve been very honest and brave in telling us your truth and I want to congratulate you for that.
Like you, I remember growing up before the internet and I remember feeling similar confusion about my sexuality as a teenager and young adult. I know a lot of people who took time to realise they were LGBTQ+ as they just didn’t have access to enough information when they were growing up.
There’s a really good article on coming out in later life on the GQ magazine website and you can find it here: www.gq.com/story/how-to-come-out-later-in-life .
There’s also this article in the Independent on the same topic from the perspective of a child of a parent who came out as gay later in life: www.independent.co.uk/voices/philip-schofield-gay-coming-out-lgbt-morning-instagram-parents-children-a9324196.html .
Our forum also has a thread on coming out in later life and you can access it here: outlife.forums.net/thread/118/coming-out-life .
I hope that reading other people’s experiences help you see that lots of people have been in a similar situation to you.
It might be helpful to talk things through with someone on the phone, especially if you’re still getting used to the idea of ‘coming out’ as gay and the LGBT switchboard provide a free and confidential service on 0300 330 0630 and you can find out more about them on their website switchboard.lgbt/about-us/ .
Don’t judge yourself for being in the situation you are in. Things will take time to work themselves out and try and take it step by step and day by day.
Find people that you can trust, and this might even include talking to a therapist or counsellor. London Friend (https://londonfriend.org.uk/ ) offer free counselling sessions that you might find useful.
Please let us know how you get on and I hope the next part of your journey goes smoothly.
Kuljit x