Coming out and going back in the closet
Feb 27, 2021 4:11:48 GMT
Post by Rasher on Feb 27, 2021 4:11:48 GMT
Hi Confused48.
Welcome to the forums. I hope you find your time here helpful.
So it seems your friend has stolen our handbook and has given you all the advice we'd give you. So I'm not going to say all the same things he said. I think you know it's true but you also know it's not that simple.
You're in a situation lots can relate to but nobody has the answer to. I wish I had the answer for you but I don't. It's complicated and I think you know it.
But here's some things I heard that you said to us.
You're not happy.
You are into men and not women
You're married but not happy
Your wife is also not happy and you're worried about what she will do
You're worried about the impact this will have on your kids
You're in control right now but you don't know for how long
You want to life your life as the gay man you want to be. You want freedom!
I'm sure that's not everything but right now that's enough to tackle. We're not going to be able to tackle all those issues in one conversation. I think it would benefit that you hear from other men who have lived through similar situations. I hope if anyone reading this thread who has similar experiences can chip in. But until then, I think the best think you can do right now is take some pressure off yourself. You have done nothing wrong. It's not your fault you ended up in the situation. Life dealt you some cards and this is how it is. But it's up to you how you move forward, however do not put a time frame on how you move forward.
Can I ask a personal question, do you think your wife has any idea how you are feeling? Also, do you think you need professional support. Let me know and I can point you in the right direction. In the meantime I'm going to do some research and see if I can find some support groups/contact that you can engage with (anonymously) so you can hear from men who have/are in similar situations. Sit tight. It might take me a minute.
Welcome to the forums. I hope you find your time here helpful.
So it seems your friend has stolen our handbook and has given you all the advice we'd give you. So I'm not going to say all the same things he said. I think you know it's true but you also know it's not that simple.
You're in a situation lots can relate to but nobody has the answer to. I wish I had the answer for you but I don't. It's complicated and I think you know it.
But here's some things I heard that you said to us.
You're not happy.
You are into men and not women
You're married but not happy
Your wife is also not happy and you're worried about what she will do
You're worried about the impact this will have on your kids
You're in control right now but you don't know for how long
You want to life your life as the gay man you want to be. You want freedom!
I'm sure that's not everything but right now that's enough to tackle. We're not going to be able to tackle all those issues in one conversation. I think it would benefit that you hear from other men who have lived through similar situations. I hope if anyone reading this thread who has similar experiences can chip in. But until then, I think the best think you can do right now is take some pressure off yourself. You have done nothing wrong. It's not your fault you ended up in the situation. Life dealt you some cards and this is how it is. But it's up to you how you move forward, however do not put a time frame on how you move forward.
Can I ask a personal question, do you think your wife has any idea how you are feeling? Also, do you think you need professional support. Let me know and I can point you in the right direction. In the meantime I'm going to do some research and see if I can find some support groups/contact that you can engage with (anonymously) so you can hear from men who have/are in similar situations. Sit tight. It might take me a minute.