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Post by mandletoad on Mar 29, 2021 20:31:05 GMT
hi folks, I'm 50 and i struggle evry day with my gender identity, have done ever since I was a kid in primary school in the 1970s - I never felt like one of the girls and always wanted to play with the boys and dress like a boy and my teachers discouraged it. I did the socially acceptable thing and married a bloke, but even though he knows about my gender identity he really hates the idea of me changing my body, because we've been together since 1993 and he still fancies all my curves. Unfortunately I've never liked my "lady lumps" not just because I'm fat, but all the bits that stick out on me that dont stick out on men (boobs and hips) have always repulsed me since puberty. I wish trans-ness was a thing back in the 70s and 80s because I really would have benefitted from puberty blockers. I'm menopausal now so I dont menstruate anymore and that's a huge relief for my gender dysphoria, but I dont know what to do with the rest of my body and how to talk to people my age and over who are very old fashioned. My in laws dont even like me having a shaved head and tattoos, its just such a stupid thing to argue about when all I want to do is be a nice person.
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Post by kuljit on Apr 6, 2021 14:46:01 GMT
Hello Mandletoad and thanks for sharing your story. I don’t identify as trans but I can understand some of the issues you’ve mentioned about feeling a pressure to fit in. I remember being interested in more feminine things growing up and how this made other people feel uncomfortable. I imagine this must be so much more challenging if you live with gender dysphoria and the constant challenge of feeling like your body doesn't match the gender you feel like inside. It sounds like you’re trying to work things through in your own mind and that you’d appreciate being able to talk them through with other people who have been through similar things. You might want to look at the website of TransUnite (https://www.transunite.co.uk/) as they have support groups spread across the UK. You might also want to look at Mindline Trans ( mindlinetrans.org.uk/) who have a phone line that’s in operation on Mondays and Fridays 8pm - midnight. Both websites also have resources that you might find helpful too. We also have an article on being non-binary on one of our websites and there are some resources there that you might find useful. The link is here: www.outlife.org.uk/being-non-binary. There’s no one way to be LGBTQ+ and your journey will be personal to your life history. The good news is that these days there are a lot more resources and places to go for support if you need it. Hopefully after you’ve made contact with other trans people it’ll be easier for you to have conversations with your partner and your family. Wishing you luck and let us know how you get on. With warm wishes Kuljit |
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