Hi Wren,
Thanks for your post. I'm Justin a member of the OutLife support team.
I'm sorry to hear that you don't have anywhere to turn right now. Let me start by saying that you absolutely don't have to go through this alone, and there are lots of places you can go for help as a young trans person. This forum is just one of them!
Though I'm not trans (I'm cis and gay) so I don't know exactly what you're going through, I can really relate to the experience of keeping a secret and wanting answers to many burning questions. There was no guidance out there for me as a kid and I was also fearful of coming out to my parents, so it often felt like there was no helping hand to guide me through what I was going through. But things did eventually get better, and a lot of that had to do with finding the right support, and finally being able to talk about my feelings.
I'm going to list below some resources that you might find helpful. You don't mention where you are based, or how old you are, so I'm going to stick to nation-wide services in the UK or online-only resources. Let's get cracking.
There are quite a few organisations you can call if you want to talk to someone in confidence:
- Mermaids is a nationwide UK charity that helps young trans people and their parents. It offers guidance and support via the Mermaids Helpline (0808 801 0400, Monday to Friday, 9am - 9pm). The helpline offers "emotional support, a gateway to the parents and teens forums, information about current legislation and protections under the law, plus signposting to training and resources." You can also email Mermaids at info@mermaidsuk.org.uk. There's also an online youth forum for ages 12-19 which is a moderated safe space to speak to other young trans people about your experience. You can sign up for that here.
www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/transgender-youth-forum.html- Switchboard is a UK LGBTQ+ helpline that will talk to you about anything you want, including your gender identity and current situation. It's all operated by LGBTQ+ volunteers which is really nice. You can call them on 0300 330 0630 from 10am - 10pm.
- Gendered Intelligence is a UK charity that supports trans people under the age of 25. It runs a series of youth groups which might work for you, as well as offering online resources. Check them out here:
genderedintelligence.co.uk/support/trans-youth- LGBT Foundation also runs a support line where you can talk to LGBTQ+ people about what you're going through. The helpline has been running for 35 years and everyone at the end of the phone is friendly and well trained. You can call them on 03453 30 30 30, Monday to Friday between 10am and 6pm.
I'm sure that any of those organisations would gladly talk to you, and if nothing else, give you an outlet for your feelings, as well as the friendly ear of someone else who is trans. In the meantime, if you don't fancy talking to someone just yet, there are also some useful online resources that it might help to read if you're feeling anxious or have questions.
- 'A Guide for Trans Young People' is a booklet produced by trans youth and answers some questions about being young and trans as well as some stories from the people who wrote it. Try giving it a read.
www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/assets/media/17-15-02-A-Guide-For-Young-People.pdf- If you feel like you're preparing for coming out to someone in real life, then this guide by LGBT Youth Scotland could be helpful. It talks about coming out in a really practical, considered way, so you can think about your situation and what works best for you.
I hope that some of the above is helpful for you. Please feel free to come back and tell us all how you're getting along. Take care of yourself, and know that you're never alone.
Justin
