bisexuality + 'coming out'

Hi there donjuan42,

Thanks so much for your post. I think we're all trying to get over Eurovision period! 

It sounds like you're going through one of those moments that lots of LGBTQ+ people experience where you're feeling tentative about exploring your sexuality. I felt the same when I was younger (am now 33), and I totally get where you're coming from: my parents used to make the same kind of comments and it can be difficult to decide when is the right time to tell people how you're feeling.

Firstly I'd like to say that it's amazing that you've posted here, and though you talk about going through a challenging time, you're being very articulate and self-analytical, which is great. You seem to have a handle on where you're at right now, even though it might not feel that way! I'm going to try and respond to your questions and concerns in some kind of ordered fashion now.

Coming out is something that lots of LGBTQ+ people take a long time to consider, and only you know when, and how is right for you. I certainly don't think that if you said you currently identify as biseuxal, and then, later down the line decided that's not how you feel, that you'd be 'backtracking' or leading anyone on. It's part of the normal process of exploring your sexuality and as long as you're honest with whoever you're involved with, they should understand. As for coming out to family and friends, if you don't want to, then there's absolutely no pressure to. You're not required to tell everyone that you're questioning, or bisexual, or that you're exploring that right now. This is your life, and your sexuality, and it's up to you whether you choose to welcome other people into the process of self discovery.

Maybe it would help to talk to someone about how you're feeling who's not involved in your life? That might allow you to more get a better grip on how you feel, and what it's like talking to others about your sexuality. There are some great LGBTQ+ organisations and helplines out there.

Switchboard is the first that comes to mind. It's the country's oldest LGBTQ+ helpline and it's staffed by LGBTQ+ volunteers. You can call them on 0300 330 0630, 10am - 10pm, or email chris@switchboard.lgbt or even webchat with them at their website switchboard.lgbt/

I hope you've found some of the above helpful! Please do let us know how you're getting along. Just remember, you're doing great, and there's absolutely no pressure, and no 'right' way to do this, just however feels best for you.

Love and solidarity,
Justin