I have NO idea who/what I am! LOL
May 26, 2021 17:38:06 GMT
Post by barney on May 26, 2021 17:38:06 GMT
Hi folks, nice to e-meet you all!
I am a 40 year old man and I am not sure where I “fit in”, or even what I want!
I am not very sexually experienced and have only ever had one sexual partner, my wife who I married in 2013. Sadly we were married for only a few years as she sadly committed suicide back in 2016.
I have two boys (5 and 8) so there was success in that department!
I have never been very confident in the bedroom and only ever initiated or felt I wanted sex when I had had a drink, my wife was the same. If we did have sex and I wasn’t drunk (which wasn’t very often) i would cum in no time which was somewhat embarrassing. I guess this is one of my fears still today although I am trying to work on that...!
I have not been with anyone since well before my wife died, so about 5 years!
My confusion comes with guys. I get really turned on by guys and imagine doing things with guys. I often have erotic dreams where I am doing something with a guy. If i watch porn I always watch gay or bi porn. I do not imagine ever having a relationship with a man, it's just the sex that intrigues me. I imagine living a heterosexual life having a female partner and it is not like the thought of sex with a girl turns me off....arrrgh I don’t know!
If there was a girl and a bloke laying in front of me I am not sure which i would go for, perhaps the guy....maybe both.....#confused!
Due to my lack of confidence in the bedroom I have never “dipped my toe in the gay water’ but realise this would be the only way to find out. I have been on tinder and grindr but i know what they are like! I have been on gay forums and shared pics and videos etc. Maybe I have watched too much gay porn as the only sort of guys that turn me on are the toned smooth type!
Perhaps I just need to sleep with a woman?! Maybe I just need sex with ANYONE and I might get clarity!!
I am told that I am a good-looking guy and I love flirting with people but then if it were ever to go any further I would run a mile! My friends say people would pay money to sleep with me! LOL Maybe i should pay someone to sleep with?!!
I have worked, travelled and lived abroad so my friends and family assume I have had many sexual partners, no one knows thatI have only had one!
I think one of the main issues I have is that I may be rubbish in bed, be it with a guy or a woman. I have programmed by brain to only be good in bed if I am pissed! (If I am really drunk I would go for hours and sometimes not even cum at all!)
Sorry, random thoughts/babbling all over the place!
Anyway....I would love to hear from anyone who has some thoughts or ideas on this, i would appreciate it it very much :-)
Thank you
Barney
x
I am a 40 year old man and I am not sure where I “fit in”, or even what I want!
I am not very sexually experienced and have only ever had one sexual partner, my wife who I married in 2013. Sadly we were married for only a few years as she sadly committed suicide back in 2016.
I have two boys (5 and 8) so there was success in that department!
I have never been very confident in the bedroom and only ever initiated or felt I wanted sex when I had had a drink, my wife was the same. If we did have sex and I wasn’t drunk (which wasn’t very often) i would cum in no time which was somewhat embarrassing. I guess this is one of my fears still today although I am trying to work on that...!
I have not been with anyone since well before my wife died, so about 5 years!
My confusion comes with guys. I get really turned on by guys and imagine doing things with guys. I often have erotic dreams where I am doing something with a guy. If i watch porn I always watch gay or bi porn. I do not imagine ever having a relationship with a man, it's just the sex that intrigues me. I imagine living a heterosexual life having a female partner and it is not like the thought of sex with a girl turns me off....arrrgh I don’t know!
If there was a girl and a bloke laying in front of me I am not sure which i would go for, perhaps the guy....maybe both.....#confused!Due to my lack of confidence in the bedroom I have never “dipped my toe in the gay water’ but realise this would be the only way to find out. I have been on tinder and grindr but i know what they are like! I have been on gay forums and shared pics and videos etc. Maybe I have watched too much gay porn as the only sort of guys that turn me on are the toned smooth type!
Perhaps I just need to sleep with a woman?! Maybe I just need sex with ANYONE and I might get clarity!!
I am told that I am a good-looking guy and I love flirting with people but then if it were ever to go any further I would run a mile! My friends say people would pay money to sleep with me! LOL Maybe i should pay someone to sleep with?!!
I have worked, travelled and lived abroad so my friends and family assume I have had many sexual partners, no one knows thatI have only had one!
I think one of the main issues I have is that I may be rubbish in bed, be it with a guy or a woman. I have programmed by brain to only be good in bed if I am pissed! (If I am really drunk I would go for hours and sometimes not even cum at all!)
Sorry, random thoughts/babbling all over the place!
Anyway....I would love to hear from anyone who has some thoughts or ideas on this, i would appreciate it it very much :-)
Thank you
Barney
x
