A new life, but how does it work?
Jun 13, 2021 10:39:08 GMT
Post by mrboulanger on Jun 13, 2021 10:39:08 GMT
Hi
I am looking for advice about how to live what I believe to be the next chapter in my life....
Background info.....
I am 48, born male and still identify as male.
I have been in two long term relationships with women, first of all married for 18 years and had two children (now 16 & 13) and followed that immediately with a partner for 5 years and also had a child (now 4).
Since my teens I have been cross dressing, but never tried to look female. For years I put this down to a sexually inspired thing, but my last partner actually gave me the freedom to experiment, as well as some harsh fashion advice, which led me to realise it wasn't a sexual thing, it was actually just a preference for certain clothes instead of others. So now I feel just as comfortable in jeans as I do in a dress.
My partner and I split, very amicably, due to a few fundamental differences in what we like and dislike, mainly in regard to general taste in movies, music, culture etc, but also due to me having what could be described as a pretty low sex drive. I have always liked sex, but it has never been something I would think about as much as my partner would, and she always believed that intimacy was the truest way of expressing love. So eventually it put a divide between us as partners but I'm happy to say that we have been able to talk about it and have been grown up about it to keep our friendship and I really feel like I have regained a best friend without the pressure of the needs a relationship invokes.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, I have always been a people watcher and have always been able to appreciate beauty, style, charisma and personality regardless of gender. My relationships have been with women, and I think that is probably because that is what is 'normal' for me and how I grew up.
And then I had my first proper night out with friends since lock down... I met a guy who just made me rethink what I thought I knew about myself. Not a lot happened, mainly because of my out of practice as unfortunately rather drunk flirting techniques, but it threw a lot of perspective on where I am regarding my sexuality and how I may not have been able to express myself up until now.
What I have realised is that I probably best identify as pansexual because gender either birth or identified really isn't an issue for me and since I've accepted that I have realised that the future is exciting. I still don't really think about sex much, and I don't know whether that is just the way I am or whether I was having the 'wrong' sex for me.
The biggest problem I have now is knowing where to start, it has been a very long time since I was single and I am also coming to terms with a whole new mindset regarding what I want.
I'm generally confused, so any help, advice, support or similar stories would be greatly appreciated.
I am looking for advice about how to live what I believe to be the next chapter in my life....
Background info.....
I am 48, born male and still identify as male.
I have been in two long term relationships with women, first of all married for 18 years and had two children (now 16 & 13) and followed that immediately with a partner for 5 years and also had a child (now 4).
Since my teens I have been cross dressing, but never tried to look female. For years I put this down to a sexually inspired thing, but my last partner actually gave me the freedom to experiment, as well as some harsh fashion advice, which led me to realise it wasn't a sexual thing, it was actually just a preference for certain clothes instead of others. So now I feel just as comfortable in jeans as I do in a dress.
My partner and I split, very amicably, due to a few fundamental differences in what we like and dislike, mainly in regard to general taste in movies, music, culture etc, but also due to me having what could be described as a pretty low sex drive. I have always liked sex, but it has never been something I would think about as much as my partner would, and she always believed that intimacy was the truest way of expressing love. So eventually it put a divide between us as partners but I'm happy to say that we have been able to talk about it and have been grown up about it to keep our friendship and I really feel like I have regained a best friend without the pressure of the needs a relationship invokes.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, I have always been a people watcher and have always been able to appreciate beauty, style, charisma and personality regardless of gender. My relationships have been with women, and I think that is probably because that is what is 'normal' for me and how I grew up.
And then I had my first proper night out with friends since lock down... I met a guy who just made me rethink what I thought I knew about myself. Not a lot happened, mainly because of my out of practice as unfortunately rather drunk flirting techniques, but it threw a lot of perspective on where I am regarding my sexuality and how I may not have been able to express myself up until now.
What I have realised is that I probably best identify as pansexual because gender either birth or identified really isn't an issue for me and since I've accepted that I have realised that the future is exciting. I still don't really think about sex much, and I don't know whether that is just the way I am or whether I was having the 'wrong' sex for me.
The biggest problem I have now is knowing where to start, it has been a very long time since I was single and I am also coming to terms with a whole new mindset regarding what I want.
I'm generally confused, so any help, advice, support or similar stories would be greatly appreciated.
