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Post by legobaby on Jun 22, 2021 23:46:49 GMT
So I'm a 21 year old woman and I've lived my entire life until now being heterosexual. I've always been very sexually attracted to men, despite never having a romantic or sexual partner, and I've been very open about this with those around me. It wasn't until last year I was put into a group project with a girl who I had seen around but thought nothing of-I don't look at girls as attractive in that way. I get nervous if I see a man I find attractive, but I've not really felt that with any women. However, I got to know her a bit and her aura (I suppose) gave me very strong platonic attraction. I was certain I liked her character a lot and wanted to get closer to her. The thing is, I've never had this feeling with anyone before. I've had people I've wanted to be friends with, but not in this way. It feels kind of like I want to treasure her, even though we aren't very close. I realised after a while I had been thinking about her a lot which made me question if I had a crush on her or not. I asked myself if I would be able to date or even kiss her, and I felt like I could definitely do that, but I wouldn't be interested in sex with her (at least not initially). It's been a year and I still feel exactly the same way, like I'd be happy if there was any way we could date. I don't feel this way with any of my other female friends. I'm not really sure what to label this as? At first I considered myself biromantic or panromantic and still heterosexual, but I can't seem to find a label that fits well. What label would describe sexual attraction to men but only romantic attraction to some women? If I'm romantically attracted to a woman, I don't think it's because she's a woman, but just because I like her. Would that mean demi would have something to do with it?
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Post by ellel on Jun 24, 2021 12:04:42 GMT
Hi there. Thanks for your post. I hear that you’re having some confusion about your orientation. I’d start right off the bat saying that I can’t tell you identify. Only you can decide that for yourself. It does sound like you’re experiencing some kind of relatively strong attraction to this woman, whether that be platonic or otherwise. And to be panromantic and/or biromantic, you don’t need to feel romantic attraction to every woman, so you could still describe yourself as pan or biromantic if you felt like it fit. Sexual attraction to men (as a woman) is still heterosexuality. You also don’t have to have sex with someone to be in a fulfilling romantic relationship. If you ended up in a romantic relationship with this woman, per se, and you found that you really didn’t want to have sex with her, you could absolutely still have a wonderful relationship. But if you think you’re romantically attracted to a woman, and just because you like her and not because she’s a woman, then maybe panromantic could be a good descriptor, as usually pansexual and/or panromantic designates sexual and/or romantic attraction regardless of gender. Being demiromantic usually means you only experience romantic attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with someone. And you can be homo-demiromantic or hetero-demiromantic or bi-demiromantic or whatever else. I’m not sure if you’re demiromantic as you describe not being super close to this woman. But again, I can’t tell you how you identify. If you feel like demiromantic fits, then it fits. I hope some of this was helpful but I really can’t tell you how to identify. I wish you the best in figuring out your identity and relationship with this woman, whatever form it may take. If you’d like some more info on romantic orientations, LGBT HERO has an article here: www.lgbthero.org.uk/what-are-romantic-orientations. If you’ve already looked at it, feel free to disregard. And if you’d like some talking support, Switchboard switchboard.lgbt/ has an LGBTQ+ helpline. So does LGBT Foundation: lgbt.foundation/. Please feel free to keep us updated on how you’re doing. Elle |
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Willow ♡
Newbie
love is love ❤️
Posts: 10
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Post by Willow ♡ on Jul 1, 2021 23:50:38 GMT
A label that describes it non-specifically is just bi. More specifically, heterosexual homoromantic. Also, consider if you like the other genders too! And I can’t decide what label you should choose, this is just a suggestion. You don’t need a label.
~Willow
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