Bi-gender or what?

Hi everyone!

So... here's my story.

I was born male, and, by most part, I am okay with that. And I’m attracted to women. Quite a lot. I can also be attracted to men, although in a different way. When having sex with a man, I would like to have the body of a woman.

There are things I love doing sexually with women, as a man; and others I would like to do with men, as a woman.

Maybe I’m bigender, or genderfluid, or demiguy? Or am I just a cis straight man with frustrations, fantasies and curiosities?

Socially, I am a man, and I am mostly okay with that, but not comfortable with all roles and expectations and assumptions related to that.

Sorry for being explicit, but I do get aroused by looking at or touching a woman, and it’s been fantastic with my female partners so far. But, speaking of full intercourse, I feel like I'd rather reverse roles and bodies sometimes... (As a "straight man", I am anorgasmic, if that matters). In my solitary experience, I start feeling excited by images of women, but at some point my fantasy switches into willing to be one of those women, and many times that's the best or only way to reach my peak...

While there may be multiple gender identities in me (which would tell I am a non-binary person), I don’t reject the male-female dualism, I rather embrace it. There’s like a Yin and Yang in me, if you will. Or a Schroedinger’s cat of genders. Other people may have a different experience of non-binarism.

I know I don’t need to have a label at all costs. But, at least, I’d like to know whether I fall in the large LGBTQAI+ spectrum somehow, or I am just yet another cis-straight-man who switches from “big boobs” to “female POV” porn category at some point, just because he’s bored?

Am I a busexual trans woman in denial? (as a bi woman, I would enjoy all types of relations I like...).

Am I just a man who failed to be the man he wanted (physically in particular, but also in terms of the physical instinct in the interaction with the world) and now looking for excuses?

I watch youtube videos of people identifying as bigender, genderfluid, demiguys etc. They don’t “look” like me (whatever that means…). If you look at me, you see a (cis) man. Not an archetypical macho, but still definitely a (cis) man. That’s my external manifestation. And I am okay with “he/him”, after all, pronouns are always imperfect, they are always approximations, and that’s the best approximation I can think of, as things stands, of myself.

Maybe, if I were a planet, I would have a masculine crust and mantle, but a distinctive feminine core.

For sure, it is hard to find someone I can have a happy and “honest” sexual/romantic life with, having all of those facets... No “dating scene”, either straight or gay, is a place where I could fit in fully.

Sorry for the long message. I’m curious to see if anyone has any thoughts about all this, or can relate, with the information I’ve given. Thanks for your patience in any case.

gus

You and me alike Gus, I've cross dressed sins I was 13, dyexnosed with klinefelter's syndrome 47xxy when I was 38 proscribed testosterone HRT 3 years on and I'm well and truly confused and now in my latter years being with another man as a receiver not a giver and somehow want to be the female in the act I'd sertanly like to be dressed as female when a male comes on to me O I think we could have grate conversation on that point 🤣🤣🤣 it's sertanly nice to hear someone else saying what I'm thinking, anyway I identify as 50/50 cross dresser non-binary bisexual before I ever took testosterone I looked and sounded very feminine now after testosterone I look more male and definitely sound male, may have its benefits sounding male but god I miss my old feminine voice... but like you say "either straight or gay, but you forget bisexual witch is within the boundaries of non-binary and like you I'm quiet happy with he/him what ever but when dressed as female I prefer she/her what ever all these pronunciations are anoth to confuse anyone even further basically your a woman with a man yourva taker a bottom where with a woman your a giver a top but there again you could still be a taker if she's so willing to give 🤣🤣🤣 so let's just say your a bisexual bottom and be dun with it.