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Post by bevan5748 on Aug 17, 2021 17:38:52 GMT
Hi
This is my first post and I’m hoping it’s not too repetitive of other threads. Apologies if that is the case.
I’ll get the confession out of the way: I’m quite a regimental person who likes order in all aspects of my life and can get quite agitated when things go awry.
The reason I mention this is because over the last few months, my sexual desires/preferences seem to have veered off the designated path that I thought they were on. I (female) have always been attracted to men and this hasn’t changed. However, in recent times, I’m finding that when I masturbate I only climax while thinking about having intercourse with women. I have also now started watching lesbian porn to get me in the mood and it is having the same affect.
To be clear, I have no issues or inner conflict with these new feelings and am very much enjoying these new experiences. In order to re-establish the order in my life that I mentioned at the beginning, I’m just curious as to how my desires would be categorised. Is this bisexuality or something else? To some, labelling these feelings may be irrelevant but for me it is something that I feel I need to define.
Thank you in advance for any help and advice.
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Post by robin1979 on Aug 20, 2021 9:22:02 GMT
I recognise everything you said in your post but in my case from the male perspective, I think we have a need to define ourselves to readjust the way we see ourselves when we discover something like this. Myself I think I am probably bisexual and perhaps because I have ignored and suppressed ALL feelings of this kind and now let them loose to have freedon to roam as they will they seem all the more stronger to the point I feel at the moment I am just gay, but that doesn't explain my past atraction to females. I think it may take you some years to finaly figure this out properly the shift in my case has been a long slow process always going farther in the same direction and like you I am not unhappy with it and you should take solice in that enjoy the ride, expect confusion and take your time.
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Post by Piltover on Aug 23, 2021 9:32:31 GMT
Hi there bevan welcome to the forums!
Labels can be super helpful when we talk about identity, and help us shape our self-image. I identify as a gay man, and though sexuality is in all likelihood a spectrum, this is useful for me.
If you're finding yourself aroused by thoughts of other women, and are enjoying lesbian porn and are also still attracted to men, then you could by all means be bisexual, and if that is important for you to define, then that's something worth considering. You don't need to have acted on same-sex feelings in order to identify as gay / bi, if that's potentially what's holding you back. Our labels describe feelings, not sexual acts, and it sounds like you're attracted to both men and women.
It's great to hear that you're not experiencing inner conflict and are embracing these new feelings. Like robin said, take your time! There is no rush, and while you're still exploring you can take all the time you need to more deeply understand yourself, and your attractions.
I hope that some of the above is helpful!
J
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Post by bevan5748 on Aug 24, 2021 17:01:38 GMT
Thank you to both Justin and Robin (I didn’t see a ‘reply’ button on his response). I will certainly be taking my time especially as this journey is rather enjoyable. Justin, thank you particularly for “our labels describe feelings not sexual acts”. I guess I did have something of a blind spot there: assuming you can only fully embrace a label if you’ve “done the deed”. I’m pretty confident that if the situation arose, I would take that step 🙂
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