Post by brummie16 on Sept 15, 2021 21:13:43 GMT
Hello everyone it’s nice to find this space for support as I have no where else .
So I have been seeing my gf for 7 years now and there has been there ups and down moments. There is a 16 year age gap she is younger but in her 30”s. Now I’m struggling as she lives with her mum and dad and she is very well looked after and pays no bills but will contribute financially now and then. Me, I run a home and both my sons have left home. Now this is my first lesbian relationship and most of it I’m happy and we were making plans for living off grid together and after 3 months say I would give up my home and she moves out of her parents place.
So what I do is I spend time at her parents place and she works 5 days so when she comes in I make sure her food is cooked I also prepare her food for work and I will iron her things while she showers just to help her out as I’m off work atm waiting for an operation so I like to do something and I buy my own food which I share with her as she’s working to save for the motor home .
I do everything I can to help I even helped her mum out with getting pcr tests for her holiday, which was damn hard with only 3 days notice. What I’m saying is I do and commit a great deal to the relationship.
I spent a few days there and it was so nice and when she walks in she will tell me “I love this it’s wonderful “. Everything can go along so so well.
I’m trying to get a flat I’m the block as it would be much cheaper than the house so I can also save .
Now I have 2 issues, so I felt as though something wasn’t right and after I sat with her she said “Do you mind if I drop you off at home as I just need time and space “ I had ordered her favourite food in and j was going home the next day but she wanted me to go on this day. I was upset but I dealt with as she’s done this many times when we have fallen out and she can’t deal with the atmosphere and it can be almost midnight and I just want to sleep but she’s again said she will drop me off at home but I ordered my own cab and just left.
So I dealt with it, then after telling me she needs space she will send me pictures of her being out with her dad and now she’s going on a fishing trip with him and she sends me a picture of all the bits she’s putting together. Only the day before I left I told her how much I miss our fishing trips then she does this I just don’t get it.
The Second issue is intimacy, she has to take control and won’t let me do anything and for me it’s vital to give to big she pushes me away and tells me it’s not her thing. A total disregard for my feelings and o end up feeling like I’m nothing. I communicate this to her all the time and it changes nothing but then she will say she wishes I would take the lead but I do that and again I’m pushed away so I ask what’s the point and I just won’t bother anymore, but this to me is simply destructive and all I do is do my best to deal with it, but it’s bloody well hard.
So I have been seeing my gf for 7 years now and there has been there ups and down moments. There is a 16 year age gap she is younger but in her 30”s. Now I’m struggling as she lives with her mum and dad and she is very well looked after and pays no bills but will contribute financially now and then. Me, I run a home and both my sons have left home. Now this is my first lesbian relationship and most of it I’m happy and we were making plans for living off grid together and after 3 months say I would give up my home and she moves out of her parents place.
So what I do is I spend time at her parents place and she works 5 days so when she comes in I make sure her food is cooked I also prepare her food for work and I will iron her things while she showers just to help her out as I’m off work atm waiting for an operation so I like to do something and I buy my own food which I share with her as she’s working to save for the motor home .
I do everything I can to help I even helped her mum out with getting pcr tests for her holiday, which was damn hard with only 3 days notice. What I’m saying is I do and commit a great deal to the relationship.
I spent a few days there and it was so nice and when she walks in she will tell me “I love this it’s wonderful “. Everything can go along so so well.
I’m trying to get a flat I’m the block as it would be much cheaper than the house so I can also save .
Now I have 2 issues, so I felt as though something wasn’t right and after I sat with her she said “Do you mind if I drop you off at home as I just need time and space “ I had ordered her favourite food in and j was going home the next day but she wanted me to go on this day. I was upset but I dealt with as she’s done this many times when we have fallen out and she can’t deal with the atmosphere and it can be almost midnight and I just want to sleep but she’s again said she will drop me off at home but I ordered my own cab and just left.
So I dealt with it, then after telling me she needs space she will send me pictures of her being out with her dad and now she’s going on a fishing trip with him and she sends me a picture of all the bits she’s putting together. Only the day before I left I told her how much I miss our fishing trips then she does this I just don’t get it.
The Second issue is intimacy, she has to take control and won’t let me do anything and for me it’s vital to give to big she pushes me away and tells me it’s not her thing. A total disregard for my feelings and o end up feeling like I’m nothing. I communicate this to her all the time and it changes nothing but then she will say she wishes I would take the lead but I do that and again I’m pushed away so I ask what’s the point and I just won’t bother anymore, but this to me is simply destructive and all I do is do my best to deal with it, but it’s bloody well hard.
