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Post by debbiedowner99 on Mar 6, 2019 16:11:31 GMT
SOOOO I'm a lesbian but sometimes I'm attracted to boys but I don't want to call myself Bi. I don't see myself bi. When I try and explain this to others they seem confused.
Does anyone else feel like this?
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Post by Rasher on Mar 7, 2019 13:23:58 GMT
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Post by lynn84 on Mar 11, 2019 0:59:56 GMT
Long term lesbian here. I've never been attracted to men so I can't say I know what you mean but I think we're heading in a direction where labels will become outdated. I think that will be progress.
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Post by harryh on Mar 27, 2019 14:14:51 GMT
Sexuality can be fluid? I've never thought of it that way.
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jay
Newbie
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Post by jay on Apr 13, 2019 0:40:20 GMT
I get what you mean - I've recently realised that I'm mostly attracted to females but there are exceptions and I've only dated men although usually it was a purely romantic attraction rather than sexual. It's super confusing - am I bi, lesbian with execptions, pan, queer? I think it comes down to what you feel comfortable calling yourself rather than other peoples definition of your sexualitiy. Personally I don't consider peoples genitals when I'm attracted to them but I think its all down to you and what YOU think
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Post by debbiedowner99 on Apr 14, 2019 3:21:05 GMT
It's come to the point that I'm beginning to hate labels. Like when I fill out a form I have to tick 'lesbian' or 'bi' or 'queer'. But sometimes I feel my sexuality is fluid so some days I feel like I'm a lesbian and other days I feel like I'm bi. I hate that society tries to box us into a category. Like why?
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Post by caroline on Apr 15, 2019 2:00:36 GMT
I also hate when I have to fill out forms that ask for orientation. I feel like it’s not anyone’s business.... I think as humans we like to categorize things because it makes it easier for us to understand. From my experience people want a label they can easily understand so they can make a judgement about us without really knowing us. People want to know whether you’re gay, straight or bi, they don’t want to hear a complex story! But the reality is humans are complex. I have a friend who 100% identifies as a gay man but has also been open about having enjoyable, passionate sex with women in the past. It’s different for everyone. I think the key is not to be pressured into a label that others impose on you. But that’s easier said than done.
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Post by simonjr on Apr 15, 2019 14:06:43 GMT
I also hate when I have to fill out forms that ask for orientation. I feel like it’s not anyone’s business.... I think as humans we like to categorize things because it makes it easier for us to understand. From my experience people want a label they can easily understand so they can make a judgement about us without really knowing us. People want to know whether you’re gay, straight or bi, they don’t want to hear a complex story! But the reality is humans are complex. I have a friend who 100% identifies as a gay man but has also been open about having enjoyable, passionate sex with women in the past. It’s different for everyone. I think the key is not to be pressured into a label that others impose on you. But that’s easier said than done. I agree totally, Caroline. I like to ID as a gay male - that is what I want to label myself. However, I did spend 12 years married to a woman and had 3 children with her - something I don't regret per se. However, I wasn't happy sexually at all and in the end I had a complete breakdown trying to be a heterosexual male. BTW she did know I was gay before we were married but we 'had faith' it would be okay due to religious convictions. We thought God would make it alright. That didn't happen as already stated. Did I love her? Yes, absolutely. Was it difficult sexually for both of us? Yes, also absolutely. In the end I lost my faith and it became clear we should go separate ways. How we identify, and what label we take on, or no label, is our business and for us to decide or not decide. I feel the only rules I like to keep in all of this are 'be kind and be fair, but be true to yourself'. Some people don't know themselves and that's okay too. It's okay to be uncertain. |
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elaine57
Newbie
Feeling more positive.
Posts: 19
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Post by elaine57 on Oct 17, 2019 19:13:13 GMT
I find that because l have a husband that it is presumed that l am bi. I haven’t had any sexual feelings towards men in general but have fallen in love with women so l don’t know what that makes me!
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