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Post by magdlr00 on Oct 5, 2021 19:08:43 GMT
So I(cis-male, bi) have recently been getting closer to some that I've known for a while but was always to scared to apporach. I'm really enjoying hanging out with them and becoming friends but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to pursue something more maybe. I had the suspicion that they might be asexual and only recently confirmed it after months of being to scared to ask, like I said I do believe I have feelings for them but now I'm worried that they might also be aromantic. I would like to ask them if they are but I feel that would easily give away my feelings and I don't want to ruin the friendship we've fostered these past few month. Essential I'm asking if i should just straight up ask them, or maybe hold off for now, or if I'm just way overthinking this. I'm still pretty new to all these new terms, so I'm sorry if i messed up along the way but iIreally do want to learn. Thanks!
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Post by Piltover on Oct 6, 2021 15:17:37 GMT
Hi there magdlr00, Thanks for your post and welcome to the LGBT HERO forums. Firstly it's really great that you're reaching out to learn about asexuality and aromanticism and shows that you're really thinking about your friend and how to approach the situation. Also don't worry about being new to the terms! We all start somewhere and lots of people are just beginning to learn about being ace and what the romantic spectrum looks like. I can't really tell you what to do in this situation: only you know your friend and the relationship that you've managed to build together over the past few months. What I will say is that aromantic people may not experience romantic attraction to others, but they do and can enter into relationships with others as being aromantic doesn't mean you don't experience love and aren't capable of developing deep, affectionate attachments to others and having healthy and fulfilling friendships. From reading around a little it seems like this can require some open and honest conversations about what both people's expectations are in a "romantic style" partnership. I'd also say that communication in any relationship is key whether it's a friendship, or romantic partner, or even a family member. Once again, I'm not here to tell you exactly how to navigate the situation with your friend, but in my own experience, talking with other people about how I feel has often lead to more clarity, and helped me and the other person move forward. I'd encourage you to read our fact sheet about the romantic spectrum: www.lgbthero.org.uk/what-are-romantic-orientations and even this may be jumping forward a little fast as you don't, as of yet, know whether your friend is just asexual or asexual and aromantic. Whatever happens, I'm sure you'll find some kind of resolution and we're always here if you want to talk or have any more questions. Love and solidarity, Justin |
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Post by magdlr00 on Oct 6, 2021 19:53:31 GMT
Whatever happens, I'm sure you'll find some kind of resolution and we're always here if you want to talk or have any more questions. Thank you Justin for the detailed response and for the article attached. I think I'll hold off on asking for now, not because I'm scared this time, but because I think i still have a few things to figure out about myself too and because said friend actually studies out of state so besides text communication is limited right now. Again thank you very much and if something happens I might update either on this thread or maybe a new one depending on how long until I have such update. |
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