Post by rosie on Nov 18, 2021 12:02:21 GMT
Hi, I’m new to this forum so I’m not 100% sure about how it works or anything but I suppose I just want to feel like I have someone to talk to.
So, yesterday my girlfriend of 7 months told me that ever since she told her parents about us being together about 3 months ago and her mum didn’t have the best reaction she’s been struggling with feelings of internalised homophobia. She said she feels like she’s disgusting and that sometimes she feels like she should just do what her family want her to do and marry a man because her mum is worried she won’t have grandchildren because the process of getting pregnant is so long and expensive for gay couples. I of course explained that there’s nothing disgusting about her or our relationship and that she needs to do what makes her happy rather than her family and I also tried to ease her mind by explaining that by the time we want children (we’re both only 19) things could have changed dramatically and I think that helped her a little bit.
She also said she’s always questioned her sexuality but that she thinks she’s bi. I kind of knew this already because when we first starting talking she told me she was bi but then thought she was a lesbian up until recently. I told her she doesn’t necessarily have to label herself and that she can just be attracted to whoever she’s attracted to and I reassured her that whether she’s bi or gay or anything else it doesn’t change how I feel about her because she was worried that when she told me that she was attracted to men I wouldn’t want to be with her anymore
( So anyway, she doesn’t know if she wants to label herself or not but she knows she does have some attraction to men which of course is absolutely fine.
But anyway the main point of this post is that because she’s been having these feelings about her being disgusting and her mum not being the most supportive in the past (I haven’t met her family yet because of this) and because she’s now so sure she’s attracted to men I’m worried that being with me is going to be too hard for her and that she’ll want to leave me to have an easier life with a man without having to feel this way everyday. I just want to be able to make her happy and give her the life she deserves but I’m worried I’ll be able to give her the peace and comfort that being with a man could give her.
So, yesterday my girlfriend of 7 months told me that ever since she told her parents about us being together about 3 months ago and her mum didn’t have the best reaction she’s been struggling with feelings of internalised homophobia. She said she feels like she’s disgusting and that sometimes she feels like she should just do what her family want her to do and marry a man because her mum is worried she won’t have grandchildren because the process of getting pregnant is so long and expensive for gay couples. I of course explained that there’s nothing disgusting about her or our relationship and that she needs to do what makes her happy rather than her family and I also tried to ease her mind by explaining that by the time we want children (we’re both only 19) things could have changed dramatically and I think that helped her a little bit.
She also said she’s always questioned her sexuality but that she thinks she’s bi. I kind of knew this already because when we first starting talking she told me she was bi but then thought she was a lesbian up until recently. I told her she doesn’t necessarily have to label herself and that she can just be attracted to whoever she’s attracted to and I reassured her that whether she’s bi or gay or anything else it doesn’t change how I feel about her because she was worried that when she told me that she was attracted to men I wouldn’t want to be with her anymore
( So anyway, she doesn’t know if she wants to label herself or not but she knows she does have some attraction to men which of course is absolutely fine.But anyway the main point of this post is that because she’s been having these feelings about her being disgusting and her mum not being the most supportive in the past (I haven’t met her family yet because of this) and because she’s now so sure she’s attracted to men I’m worried that being with me is going to be too hard for her and that she’ll want to leave me to have an easier life with a man without having to feel this way everyday. I just want to be able to make her happy and give her the life she deserves but I’m worried I’ll be able to give her the peace and comfort that being with a man could give her.
