messed around as kids should I talk to him

Hi kdot,

Thanks for your post and welcome to the LGBT HERO forums.

I hear that you're struggling at the moment with how to feel about your current thoughts for this guy you used to fool around with. I can't speak directly to your situation, but it's pretty common for people, LGBTQ+ or not, to think about people who they used to date or be intimate with. I can't speak to your specific situation, but it's definitely something a lot of us have thought about!

As for talking to him or not, I can't answer that question for you, but I would encourage you to ask yourself what your motivation is in messaging him. Would you be interested in pursuing something physical? You say you're happing with your girlfriend and this is great to hear, so it might be worth contemplating why you're thinking about this guy so much. Sometimes talking to someone can help, and I'll link to some resources below that you might find useful.

Whatever you're feeling just try and be kind to yourself and give yourself some space to think. You've said that gay porn doesn't do it for you, but maybe you're just really into this one guy?

If you'd like to talk to someone on the phone, I'd recommend calling Switchboard, the LGBTQ+ helpline. They'll happily talk with you about your situation and maybe speaking with someone about it will help you understand it more clearly. You can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 between 10am and 10pm.

Take care of yourself, and please do keep us updated!

Justin