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Post by dannylondon87 on Mar 16, 2019 2:29:44 GMT
Hi.
Two nights ago I found out tonight that my boyfriend has been cheating with me with his ex for the last six months. We've been together for 7 years. 7 fucking years. And that asshole fucking cheats on me with his ex. I feel so worthless right now. I feel so angry, hurt, disappointed and destroyed. I put all my energy into this relationship and this asshole does this to me. Why? Why would he do this to me? Why would he treat me with a lack of respect? Why couldn't he talk to me about his needs and desires. All gay men are dicks.
Sorry for venting but I saw on your Facebook that this is the place to vent. I'm not really looking for advice but I don't have anyone I can talk to about this crap. Fuck him. And Fuck gay men. Sorry.
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Post by dannylondon87 on Mar 16, 2019 2:33:40 GMT
I just read over this. Sorry I've been drinking. It's been a shit Friday. Sorry.
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Post by Rasher on Mar 17, 2019 3:23:09 GMT
Hey Danny.
Welcome to OutLife's forums!
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a messed up situation to be in at the moment. Excuse my language... but it's f**king horrible. Nobody deserves to be treated in this way and you have our back.
But, there is no need to feel worthless. Most times when people cheat it's very little to do with the partner and more to do with the issue of the person doing the cheating. There's lots of research into why people cheat. And it helps to know why, but it's certainly not an excuse. Cheating is never excusable.
However, we as gay men are more likely to be open to 'situations' where if we can't meet the needs of a partner we can talk about how we can fix those issues. Sometimes that means an open relationship or inviting others into our sexual situations. Other times it ends up in ending a relationship. However, it only works when there is trust and good commutation. From the sounds of it, your boyfriend has communication issues. That is 100% not your fault and you need to understand that.
From what you have told us I would recommend your boyfriend needs to talk to someone about his issues. But it's up to you whether you want to open that conversation.
Unfortunately, as gay men, nobody teaches us how to be successful in a relationship. However, if you have decided that this is enough for you then you need to say enough is enough and move on. But if you can get past your anger and want to remain in this relationship then you both need to talk to each other about how you move forward. But right now I can see you're angry... and you should be. It's ok to be angry. In the tone of Britney... scream, shout and let it all out.
After that, have a chat with yourself and see what you want. That will help you decide how you move forward.
Let us know what your next steps are. It will help us and the people reading this too.
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Post by dannylondon87 on Mar 17, 2019 23:54:49 GMT
Thank you LGBT HERO. I think you are right. I'm going to take some time and think this though before I make a decision. I'll let you know how its goes.
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Post by harryh on Mar 27, 2019 14:15:57 GMT
Hey Danny. I read this last week. Been waiting for an update. How are you getting on?
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Post by dannylondon87 on Jul 31, 2019 12:51:15 GMT
Hi all.
Just an update! I'm single and eating a tube of Pringles. We broke up. I couldn't keep going on and he said he couldn't guarentee that he wouldn't cheat again. He wanted out and this was his way of doing it. Asshole, much!
But I'm in a better frame of mind and getting on with life. Thanks for the support.
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Post by kirhymeswithpie on Aug 1, 2019 15:37:59 GMT
Pringles are great!! Food, esp comfort food are definitely one of my indulgences when I'm post breakup. It's a sucky situation to be in. I broke up with my exes in December 2017 and it's been over a year and it still hurts! That was seven and three quarter years so.. yea.. hrmph eh.. anyway.. enjoy the Pringles and the warm weather! And come back and vent if you need too!
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