Post by moonmoth on Feb 3, 2022 10:49:00 GMT
Hello,
I am new here and looking for some advice as I’m not really sure where to turn. There isn’t anybody in my personal life I feel like I can speak with about this.
I am in my late thirties, have so far exclusively dated men and have a daughter from my most recent relationship which lasted 15 years. That relationship ended quite recently after a long time on the rocks, which gave me a lot of time as things were going downhill to consider what I might want out of life and love going forward.
I have always been attracted to other women from a young age but, long story short, I grew up in an environment where exploring that as anything more than a private fantasy didn’t ever feel like an option. However, I now feel that I would like to try dating other women and ideally forging a long term committed relationship. I am a very sensitive person and much of the issues in the relationship with my daughter’s father were due to a lack of empathy and sensitivity. While I don’t discount that there are men who are more empathetic and sensitive than my ex, sometimes it feels like these areas might just be less hard work with another woman. Also, I have for a long time wanted to explore intimacy with a same sex partner but never could have done so in the context of my relationship as I am very loyal and spent years trying hard as I wanted for it to work out.
My problem is that despite having these feelings, I’ve never actually dated another woman or been physical in any way beyond friendship, as I have been in relationships with men pretty much constantly since being 16. I’m confused as to whether my internal feelings will translate into a real life situation and the last thing I want to do is end up hurting anybody’s feelings or for them to think that I have strung them along. But at the same time, if I don’t try how will I ever know?
I hope it’s ok to post this here as part of me feels like a fraud because at this point I’m not sure if I am a ‘true’ member of this community. I thought there may be others here who have experienced similar or can give advice, not only to help me but also on how to avoid hurting anybody along the way.
Any input is greatly appreciated.
I am new here and looking for some advice as I’m not really sure where to turn. There isn’t anybody in my personal life I feel like I can speak with about this.
I am in my late thirties, have so far exclusively dated men and have a daughter from my most recent relationship which lasted 15 years. That relationship ended quite recently after a long time on the rocks, which gave me a lot of time as things were going downhill to consider what I might want out of life and love going forward.
I have always been attracted to other women from a young age but, long story short, I grew up in an environment where exploring that as anything more than a private fantasy didn’t ever feel like an option. However, I now feel that I would like to try dating other women and ideally forging a long term committed relationship. I am a very sensitive person and much of the issues in the relationship with my daughter’s father were due to a lack of empathy and sensitivity. While I don’t discount that there are men who are more empathetic and sensitive than my ex, sometimes it feels like these areas might just be less hard work with another woman. Also, I have for a long time wanted to explore intimacy with a same sex partner but never could have done so in the context of my relationship as I am very loyal and spent years trying hard as I wanted for it to work out.
My problem is that despite having these feelings, I’ve never actually dated another woman or been physical in any way beyond friendship, as I have been in relationships with men pretty much constantly since being 16. I’m confused as to whether my internal feelings will translate into a real life situation and the last thing I want to do is end up hurting anybody’s feelings or for them to think that I have strung them along. But at the same time, if I don’t try how will I ever know?
I hope it’s ok to post this here as part of me feels like a fraud because at this point I’m not sure if I am a ‘true’ member of this community. I thought there may be others here who have experienced similar or can give advice, not only to help me but also on how to avoid hurting anybody along the way.
Any input is greatly appreciated.
