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Post by abbey2022 on Feb 3, 2022 15:01:07 GMT
Hey guys! My name is Abbey or you can call me Tatum. I am trans non binary and Pansexual. I am fairly new here but I wanted to share an experience that has been bothering me.
Yesterday I was on IG and I was mentioned in a comment that I had posted about 6 weeks ago in regards to J.K Rowling and not being invited to the Harry Potter thing. Now, regardless on what your views of Rowling are, I am asking you to just help me cope with what this person said. Apparently, to her, I am a cishet "regular little girl." She said that nonbinary people don't exist and that pan people just fetishize others. I found this very hurtful to be invalidated over a comment and based on nothing but my pfp. It was even more hurtful that she was a lesbian. Someone within my own community. I did end up blocking her as she was a TERF. But how would you guys go about coping with something like that? I get bullied often for my identity but never in this way.
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Post by Piltover on Feb 10, 2022 15:59:20 GMT
Hi Abbey, Thanks for your post and welcome to the forums. These kinds of comments from people are extremely hurtful and often stem from ignorance, or a feeling of insecurity from the individual trying to invalidate someone else's identity. It's especially telling that you mention this person is a TERF: these extremists are unendingly hostile to anyone who doesn't subscribe to their binary, "biological" notions of gender, and attacking anyone in sight who dares to express themselves is an unfortunate scare tactic that is now commonplace to try and force gender non-conforming people out of public life. Here's what I can say to you definitively: someone who is LGBTQ+ can also be a bigot, and that your identity is respected and understood by a much larger group of people than the group of trolls who attack GD people online. I'm really sorry you've had to experience that kind of abuse and it sounds like you did the right thing by blocking her, as engagement, and public arguments are what lots of these people really want. It's never easy trying to cope with this kind of abuse, and as a cis gay man I've never experienced it directly, but I think there are a few ways to make coping with having an online presence as a GD person easier. Blocking is your friend, and it seems you've already got this one down, but also I'd say if you choose not to block someone, then don't engage if you feel it's going to have a negative impact on your mental health. It's perfectly acceptable just to ignore them and move on and you're under no obligation to challenge them, or fight the corner of all GD people. It can be waring on your mental health, and I've heard this from many trans and gender diverse people. Also, if you do receive a comment like this, or something happens and you become upset, it can be really helpful to talk to someone who is validating and understands you. This could be a friend or family member, or another member of the GD community. Engaging somewhere that you can be yourself can help remind you that the Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and all the other social networks aren't representative of real life. They're chambers where the most vocal often get the most attention, but there's a whole world of LGBTQ+ people out there who love and care for people of all genders. If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone outside of your own life, then I'd recommend calling Switchboard, the LGBTQ+ helpline, or talking to them via webchat. It's a super friendly service that is staffed by qualified queer volunteers. You can call the 10am - 10pm on 0300 330 0630 or access their webchat here: switchboard.lgbt/I hope that some of the above is helpful. If ever you're in need you can always post here and we'll get back to you. Your wellbeing matters to us, and a whole load of other people in the community. Love and solidarity, Justin |
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