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Post by chrisbates123 on Jun 7, 2022 15:24:30 GMT
Hi everyone I'm Chris I'm 34 been coming to terms with the fact I'm gay for the last few years after hiding it and denying it for years My sister was also gay and tried coming out to my family when we were younger but was faced with homophobia and not being accepted, I was always supportive of her and we were very close but she died of cancer 4years ago at the age of 29, she never knew I was gay also I'm currently living with my parents because after my sister passed my mental health took a turn for the worse and I now suffer with anxiety, depression and PTSD I've made one friend who is also gay and we chat maybe once a week which is great but he's in a very different position than I am I guess I'm here for advice and to find people like me and maybe make some new friends
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Post by Piltover on Jun 9, 2022 10:58:15 GMT
Hi chris, Welcome to the forums. d I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time. I've also experienced the passing of a sibling and know the kind of deep loss that comes with. I've also faced homophobia and a lack of acceptance from my family regarding my sexuality. Just like you both took a toll on my mental health, there were some pretty tough years for me, but things have become a easier as the years have gone by and I've sought help. It's really amazing that you're reaching out for support now as connecting with others and talking about my feelings definitely lifted me up when I was struggling. That's exactly what we're here for so I'm so glad you've decided to talk with us. It sounds like you've started the process of trying to connect with other LGBTQ+ people, which is great! I'm also in my mid thirties and know it can be a bit trickier as we get older to easily expand our social circles, but there are loads of queer societies and clubs out there which are a casual and fun way of expanding your circle of gay friends. You don't mention where you're based, but if you're in a city there are usually lots of options especially in London. If you're somewhere more remote, then maybe you'd like to join us for one of our Umbrella HangOuts? We have a fun social / support group that we run via Zoom where LGBTQ+ people can come along, decompress, talk about their feelings etc. Our next event will be in July: www.lgbthero.org.uk/umbrella-hangoutsIf that isn't your cup of tea then try checking out local LGBTQ+ organisations like LGBT Foundation in Manchester or Birmingham LGBT centre. There are also loads of queer-specific Meetup groups if you feel you're ready to try out a social group. The community can be really kind and supportive and you might meet other people who have recently come out or come to terms with their sexuality. You've experienced quite a lot and mentioned a combination of anxiety, depression and PTSD, but don't say whether you've tried talking therapy. There are some great LGBTQ+ organisations that offer low-cost therapy via zoom, like ELOP www.elop.org/, where you can talk to a therapist about your sexuality and any mental health issues you're going through. In my personal experience I found it really helpful. There are also some listening services that you might want to try. Switchboard is the country's longest-running LGBTQ+ helpline, and they're always there to chat. You can call them on 0300 330 0630 10am - 10pm 365 days a year, or talk to them via webchat on their website: switchboard.lgbt/Whatever you choose to do, please know that there are lots of other gay and queer people out there who are willing to lend a hand if you're struggling, and you can always post here to tell us how you're doing. You're not alone! I hope some of the above is helpful. PLease do post again and let us know how you're getting on Piltover x
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Post by chrisbates123 on Jun 12, 2022 18:50:12 GMT
Hi Piltover Thanks for your message
So I'm in Surrey, we don't seem to have many lgbt social groups around although we have got a lgbt+ hub/safespace in Woking I've haven't actually been there yet, to be honest I'm a bit nervous
As for my mental health, I am much better now about 1 year before the pandemic I was really bad, I couldn't leave the house for weeks and after that I couldn't leave the house on my own for a while, my anxiety was so bad, this started in February 2019 I was having loads of panic attacks, I had to wait till June 2019 to see a counsellor and it did help me control my panic attacks but for everything else I felt like they weren't interested and they leaked my personal details and details about why I was there to a third party so I'm now a bit nervous sharing that kind of information with someone like that because when you speak with someone like that you just expect it to be confidential she was actually the first person I said "I'm gay" to out loud
Its nice to know I'm not the only one going through things like this, it can definitely feel like that sometimes
Thanks again Chris
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