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Post by elliotsky on Jun 23, 2022 18:30:27 GMT
I feel like I need to shove my feelings down right now. Like I’ve had these feelings since childhood and it’s only recently that I’ve opened up to certain trusted people about them. Since I’ve had these feelings buried for so long I’m wondering if it’s possible to push them back down.
I’m so isolated in how I feel and that creates this insurmountable feeling of loneliness. I honestly want to just be me which would be leaning towards the male side of the spectrum seeing as I’m female at birth. I know my family won’t accept it I’m 100% on that. I still have to have phone calls with my Mother everyday that consist of her telling me her opinion on trans people - I guess that’s because of how much of a trigger point it is in the media right now.
I wish things were different I wish so badly that I could just be who I wanted or felt like authentically. I guess I can’t. I’ve got to put this to bed but I don’t know how.
I am so sad right now. I don’t even know if this makes sense I’m just venting I guess.
Why can’t things be different?
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Post by Piltover on Jun 24, 2022 13:19:04 GMT
Hi Elliotsky, Thanks for your post. I'm sorry it sounds like you're having a rough time at the moment. It's totally okay to post here to vent if that's what you need. Sometimes we just need to let other people know how we're feeling and it lightens the emotional load a little. It sounds to me like you could use some direct support for your mental health. It's really amazing that you've opened up to some trusted people (that's no mean feat!) and I hope that they're giving you some assistance, but there are organisations out there that can also provide you with regular mental health support and trusted advice. I know you feel like you want to push your feelings back down, but keeping them locked up, rather than talking about them others, could result in emotional harm for you. While I can't promise that you will be able to "put this to bed", by getting the right help, you can definitely find a way forward where your mental health improves and you're moving toward the goal of living more authentically, if that's what you want. I've had to seek help for my mental health for years now. It was tough talking to my therapist at first but after a while it really helped me deal with life's knocks, especially when issues arose around my sexuality. Your situation is different, but maybe you and a mental health professional could work together toward a better situation for you? Things can, and do get better. It's tough for trans people at the moment and I know you feel isolated and alone, but there is a whole community out here who can help support you while you navigate this difficult period. Below I'm going to recommend some services that I think might be able to help you going forward. I don't have all your information, so if any of these aren't applicable then feel free to ignore. Mermaids - You don't mention how old you are but if you're 25 or under then Mermaids is a great organisation to talk to. They provide support and advice to young trans people, and run a helpline. It might help to speak to them? You can call them on: 0808 801 0400 Monday – Friday; 9am – 9pm, or you can webchat here: mermaidsuk.org.uk/Gendered Intelligence - Another organisation for young trans people. They run a bunch of social activities and connecting with other trans people might help ease your loneliness? genderedintelligence.co.uk/Mindline Trans+ - A dedicated mental health support line for trans and gender diverse people. They've recently expanded their opening hours so are available to contact more of the time. mindlinetrans.org.uk/ Call them on 0300 330 5468, Mondays & Fridays, 8pm-midnight Trans Unite - Trans Unite is an amazing search / finding tool for trans groups, events and support: www.transunite.co.uk/I hope that some of the above is helpful. Please remember that even when things seem insurmountable, that there's always a path forward, and that there are people out there who can help. Love and solidarity Piltover |
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