Post by thatbiguy on Jul 22, 2022 12:39:27 GMT
Hi All,
About 2 years ago I told my wife I thought I was bi. I had a couple of sexual encounters with a male friend when I was younger but at the time the concept of being bisexual was completely unknown to me, it was a case of you were either straight or gay. Given that I knew I liked girls and I knew I wanted a family when I was older I put the fact that I had enjoyed what we had done, enough to do it twice, to one side and moved on.
In my ears 20’s I was single and looking for “the one” who I assumed I’d loose my virginity too and with whom I’d spend the rest of my life. During this time I started occasionally looking at porn online which over time lead to watching porn online. It was at this point that I realised I was enjoying seeing the guys in porn as much as I was enjoying seeing the women. As it turns out I am quite open minded and I put this enjoyment down to that, again not thinking for a moment that I might be bi. Even when I started watching bi & gay porn I was telling myself it was just a combo of being open minded and my right hand trying to keep up with what has turned out to be my high sex drive.
When I started chatting to guys online in sex chatrooms I conceded that I was bi curious but at that time social pressures still made me feel like I couldn’t explore with another person. Even when a gay ex colleague blatantly hit on me I didn’t do anything.
I am now married to someone I love with all my heart and we have 2 gorgeous children and I wouldn’t want risk loosing any of what we have as a family but I feel like I am missing a part of me because of all the things I didn’t do before I got married.
As I said my wife knows I am bi, and she knows about everything above and she has been incredibly understanding and supportive but I’m struggling to deal with not knowing what it is like to be with a man without feeling guilty about it. It feels like the only options are to risk everything and end up hurting my wife and family by trying something or always be wondering and continue to be in the depression that comes with it.
To be clear, by trying something I don’t mean cheating I mean selfishly asking my wife to let me do something so I can figure out whatever it is I think I need to figure out.
About 2 years ago I told my wife I thought I was bi. I had a couple of sexual encounters with a male friend when I was younger but at the time the concept of being bisexual was completely unknown to me, it was a case of you were either straight or gay. Given that I knew I liked girls and I knew I wanted a family when I was older I put the fact that I had enjoyed what we had done, enough to do it twice, to one side and moved on.
In my ears 20’s I was single and looking for “the one” who I assumed I’d loose my virginity too and with whom I’d spend the rest of my life. During this time I started occasionally looking at porn online which over time lead to watching porn online. It was at this point that I realised I was enjoying seeing the guys in porn as much as I was enjoying seeing the women. As it turns out I am quite open minded and I put this enjoyment down to that, again not thinking for a moment that I might be bi. Even when I started watching bi & gay porn I was telling myself it was just a combo of being open minded and my right hand trying to keep up with what has turned out to be my high sex drive.
When I started chatting to guys online in sex chatrooms I conceded that I was bi curious but at that time social pressures still made me feel like I couldn’t explore with another person. Even when a gay ex colleague blatantly hit on me I didn’t do anything.
I am now married to someone I love with all my heart and we have 2 gorgeous children and I wouldn’t want risk loosing any of what we have as a family but I feel like I am missing a part of me because of all the things I didn’t do before I got married.
As I said my wife knows I am bi, and she knows about everything above and she has been incredibly understanding and supportive but I’m struggling to deal with not knowing what it is like to be with a man without feeling guilty about it. It feels like the only options are to risk everything and end up hurting my wife and family by trying something or always be wondering and continue to be in the depression that comes with it.
To be clear, by trying something I don’t mean cheating I mean selfishly asking my wife to let me do something so I can figure out whatever it is I think I need to figure out.