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Post by raine on Sept 1, 2022 10:23:05 GMT
im so genuinely confused. i recently came out as trans but sometimes i feel like i should be a cis gay man. its confusing because i feel like my friends are beginning to judge me changing my identity so much. i feel guilty about this. i also own a trans flag, which makes me feel worse when i have to think about the possibility i am not in fact trans. is it normal to feel guilt like this ? i dont know.
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Post by Piltover on Sept 6, 2022 13:42:39 GMT
Hi there raine,
I hope this finds you well. Welcome to the LGBT HERO forums.
First off sorry for the delayed reply. Our office has been mostly shut down for the past week.
I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling great and experiencing some confusion re your gender identity. Sometimes it takes people a while to work this stuff out and there can be moments when we're not exactly sure how we're feeling.
Firstly I'd like to say that you don't need to feel guilty though that can be a response we sometimes have when we feel like we're being judged for our actions. You're working out who you are and if you eventually come to the conclusion that you're cis, or NB, then that's OK and owning a trans flag and having come out as trans aren't somehow "wrong" they are all part of your journey. What's important is that you're thinking about this stuff and that you're taking your time to explore your identity in a way which feels right for you.
It can be difficult when we feel like others are setting expectations for us or that we're supposed to take a particular path, or simply that we don't know why we're feeling how we're feeling. Please try and remember that your feelings are valid, and don't always have to make complete sense in the moment. You can take however much time you need to understand yourself more.
Maybe talking with someone might help? If you're under 25 you can call Mermaids, which is a charity for young trans and gender nonconforming people (0808 8010 400) or Switchboard which is a helpline for LGBTQ+ people (0300 330 0630). They're both non-judgemental and will gladly listen to what you have to say. Sometimes just having someone to speak to can help us get past some of those trickier moments life throws at us.
In the meantime, please know that there are lots of LGBTQ+ people out there who just wish you to be happy, regardless of whether you're trans or cis.
Take care,
Piltover
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