I'm questioning my gender identity
Nov 25, 2022 22:48:51 GMT
Post by spiritstar28 on Nov 25, 2022 22:48:51 GMT
I'm a twenty year old individual, born female, and I've had the lingering thought for a while but never really shed much light on it until recently...
Basically I was talking to my older sister over the phone and complaining how I couldn't stand the feeling of my hair being down anymore (I've always had long hair because my mother doesn't like us cutting our hair since she has always had long hair). I've desired cutting it at least shoulder length for some time and now I keep having the feeling I want it even shorter because whenever it's down I just keep feeling gross and weirdly bothered by it. To this my sister asked me if I was Trans, and although I'm fairly certain she was joking, I found myself unable to respond to what should be a simple question because neither option felt right at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not uncomfortable with female pronouns or feminine terms, occasionally I like to appear feminine and sexy and what not. But the same can be said for masculine and non-binary terms and pronouns, I actually like being called masculine terms sometimes. And I won't lie and say that I haven't wished I was born male and had male anatomy, which according to my mother isn't a normal thing most people think about. But that being said I'm not unhappy with being in a female body or being feminine presenting.
I don't think I'm trans masculine or at least not fully and I'm not sure I'm nonbinary. I don't know, I'm aware there are other gender identities but I'm severely uneducated on the topic. Not to mention that if I actually am something other than a cis woman I'm terrified of my father figuring out. I love my parents and they've come to terms that I'm Omnisexual with a very big preference for feminine presenting individuals and I appreciate it, but I had to fight tooth and nail for them to accept that. Both of my parents don't like trans gender individuals especially my father who considers their entire existence a lie. We've argued where I've posed the question if someone in his immediate family (ie his kids or grandkids) came out that their gender identity and birth sex didn't match how would he treat them, and his answer doesn't change.
I don't know, I might be worked up over nothing. I just don't have anyone to talk to or educate me on these things so I was hoping someone could possibly give me some answers.
Basically I was talking to my older sister over the phone and complaining how I couldn't stand the feeling of my hair being down anymore (I've always had long hair because my mother doesn't like us cutting our hair since she has always had long hair). I've desired cutting it at least shoulder length for some time and now I keep having the feeling I want it even shorter because whenever it's down I just keep feeling gross and weirdly bothered by it. To this my sister asked me if I was Trans, and although I'm fairly certain she was joking, I found myself unable to respond to what should be a simple question because neither option felt right at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not uncomfortable with female pronouns or feminine terms, occasionally I like to appear feminine and sexy and what not. But the same can be said for masculine and non-binary terms and pronouns, I actually like being called masculine terms sometimes. And I won't lie and say that I haven't wished I was born male and had male anatomy, which according to my mother isn't a normal thing most people think about. But that being said I'm not unhappy with being in a female body or being feminine presenting.
I don't think I'm trans masculine or at least not fully and I'm not sure I'm nonbinary. I don't know, I'm aware there are other gender identities but I'm severely uneducated on the topic. Not to mention that if I actually am something other than a cis woman I'm terrified of my father figuring out. I love my parents and they've come to terms that I'm Omnisexual with a very big preference for feminine presenting individuals and I appreciate it, but I had to fight tooth and nail for them to accept that. Both of my parents don't like trans gender individuals especially my father who considers their entire existence a lie. We've argued where I've posed the question if someone in his immediate family (ie his kids or grandkids) came out that their gender identity and birth sex didn't match how would he treat them, and his answer doesn't change.
I don't know, I might be worked up over nothing. I just don't have anyone to talk to or educate me on these things so I was hoping someone could possibly give me some answers.
