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Post by 6ekka on Sept 4, 2019 17:50:40 GMT
Im new here and joined this forum for advice, whether im being silly or if i should go for it (even though confidence is low and i dont know how to go about it)
Im 31, been around as they say but not had good experience with men BUT not an excuse. I am attracted to men, even though the ones i meet turn out to be assholes.
When i was younger i kissed girls and slept with one, one incredibly drunk night though. I would say i was bisexual then but then i grew up.. and to be honest im fed up, men free and just dont know what i want...
Anyone think im just being silly? I will not be offended
Any advice would be appreciated, B
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Post by kirhymeswithpie on Sept 5, 2019 11:03:24 GMT
Hi B,
No you are not being silly at all. Sexuality is a spectrum, and there is much fluidity - so your sexuality can change depending on circumstances and environment such as who you are with, what they look like, what your lived experience is until this moment, and as you mentioned, level of intoxication - can all have an effect. Attraction is not a decision and when it happens - it happens. You can of course chose whether or not to act on an attraction you may have, whatever the gender of that person is, but the feeling of attraction - whether sexually or romantically, is something that happens organically and isn't a consciously made decision.
Many people who are somewhere between other-gender-attracted and same-gender attracted do find out later in life that they are bi or pansexual. The society we live in today emphasises straightness and gayness so much that often people 'settle' with one when they are younger and don't realise they have the ability to be also be attracted in the other direction, until they find themself in a situation with a specific person they did not expected to be attracted to. Bisexuality isn't a phase and growing up doesn't mean growing out of it.
You are free to explore within yourself what your attractions are, and to act on any attraction you have inclination to act on. Nothing is fixed in stone, and identifying as straight and only having had relationships with men doesn't mean you cannot be same-gender attracted as well now.
Best wishes,
Ki
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Post by Debra Lowe on Sept 13, 2019 6:41:20 GMT
Hi B,
I think ultimately the first thing to do is release the pressure... Love who you are and the life you are in. If you meet a woman who makes your heart sing then explore and the same if you meet a new man. Be free with your heart . Sorry for the vague advice..I've had 4 hrs sleep and brain thoughts are limited. I'm all ears if you need to chat.
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