got back with my ex
Mar 9, 2023 1:06:42 GMT
Post by rustydusty on Mar 9, 2023 1:06:42 GMT
okay so yea ik it sounds bad but this guy was fs the best relationship i had. he made me so crazy happy and hella euphoric cuz he was the only person who gave me masculine compliments and always pointed out how well i passed but then my parents kinda manipulated me into leaving him and the 2 months i was apart from him was hell. i stopped eating, relapsed heavily into self harm, and was constantly dysphoric. me and him were iffy on getting back together at first because i was scared of breaking a promise to myself and was scared of trusting someone, and he was still really hurt from me leaving. these past weeks, we were talking lots over email and stuff, and last week we hung out in person at school for the first time since the breakup. it was rocky and awkward at first, but as soon as we hugged i felt all of my problems melt into nothingness. we started showing more affection and then a few days ago we sat in the grass wrapped in each others arms and talked and watched videos and scrolled through pinterest (on his phone cuz mine is hella controlled), just like how we used to do every day when we were together. and yesterday, we had our second first kiss 
it made me so happy but uuughgh i cant get enough of it hahah i miss doing more than that. and yea we made it official that we are boyfriends again and are gonna work on making things better. im finally happy again and kinda forgot how that felt. oh and he made me super euphoric by talking abt how manly i was and how someone saw us together and confronted him abt "hugging a dude" and it was a super homophobic guy so he obv wasnt tryna validate my identity, so i passed!!!!! but yea and also he pointed out the small small progress of my facial hair and complimented my [nonexistent] muscles. idk i had took for granted how great he was, and had to find out the hard way that iwas crazy lucky to have him. i really hope i dont screw things up this time but im moving this summer and my parents arent gonna lemme hang out with him unless i do everything they want [aka suppressing my identity and becoming a morman] but im working on it, and ill never lose hope! idk this was just a ramble session/positive vent haha
it made me so happy but uuughgh i cant get enough of it hahah i miss doing more than that. and yea we made it official that we are boyfriends again and are gonna work on making things better. im finally happy again and kinda forgot how that felt. oh and he made me super euphoric by talking abt how manly i was and how someone saw us together and confronted him abt "hugging a dude" and it was a super homophobic guy so he obv wasnt tryna validate my identity, so i passed!!!!! but yea and also he pointed out the small small progress of my facial hair and complimented my [nonexistent] muscles. idk i had took for granted how great he was, and had to find out the hard way that iwas crazy lucky to have him. i really hope i dont screw things up this time but im moving this summer and my parents arent gonna lemme hang out with him unless i do everything they want [aka suppressing my identity and becoming a morman] but im working on it, and ill never lose hope! idk this was just a ramble session/positive vent haha 