Post by perry on Mar 11, 2023 4:46:20 GMT
This is kinda complicated. I’ll try to explain it. Pls read with a smile. I’m not distressed abt it. Rather, I’m scratching my head.
I’m saying what I think/feel. I welcome alternative views/opinions.
I identify as non binary bi, Amab with an epicene (feminine) leaning.
Whilst you can be non binary and presentation is not an indication of how non binary you are, for me, and this post, my presentation is important.
I asked ppl to ‘score’ me on a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is ‘catwalk feminine’ and 10 is ‘super macho’. They scored me on average 4.
So that should be ok being non binary, you’d think. It means though tht I do a lot to present thus.
For example, I wear women’s….. jeans….. bc a) men’s jeans don’t fit me. I have a size 26” waist, women’s U.K. size 6. And b) I prefer the style and cut. Most ppl can’t tell they’re women’s jeans. A few women have noticed. I also wear ‘women’s versions’ of clothes. Ppl only notice on close inspection. I don’t wear clothes which are considered, generally, ‘female only’….. such as dresses and skirts.
I wear makeup bc I have body dysmorphia. I don’t wanna look pretty per se. I’m just trying to cover up faults, although I have to admit that using mascara is defo an attempt to look…. A certain way.
What’s happened is tht I’ve kinda alienated myself. Suppose a gay man looks at me. He may be thinking that I don’t look male enough. Equally, women wld think I don’t look male enough.
Suppose a trans female looked at me….. they might consider me not female enough.
I don’t get negative feedback from anybody but I have the feeling tht I’m scaring ppl off with the way I present.
Has anybody else experienced this conundrum? Am I thinking ‘wrong’?
Tia for any pointers 🙂
I’m saying what I think/feel. I welcome alternative views/opinions.
I identify as non binary bi, Amab with an epicene (feminine) leaning.
Whilst you can be non binary and presentation is not an indication of how non binary you are, for me, and this post, my presentation is important.
I asked ppl to ‘score’ me on a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is ‘catwalk feminine’ and 10 is ‘super macho’. They scored me on average 4.
So that should be ok being non binary, you’d think. It means though tht I do a lot to present thus.
For example, I wear women’s….. jeans….. bc a) men’s jeans don’t fit me. I have a size 26” waist, women’s U.K. size 6. And b) I prefer the style and cut. Most ppl can’t tell they’re women’s jeans. A few women have noticed. I also wear ‘women’s versions’ of clothes. Ppl only notice on close inspection. I don’t wear clothes which are considered, generally, ‘female only’….. such as dresses and skirts.
I wear makeup bc I have body dysmorphia. I don’t wanna look pretty per se. I’m just trying to cover up faults, although I have to admit that using mascara is defo an attempt to look…. A certain way.
What’s happened is tht I’ve kinda alienated myself. Suppose a gay man looks at me. He may be thinking that I don’t look male enough. Equally, women wld think I don’t look male enough.
Suppose a trans female looked at me….. they might consider me not female enough.
I don’t get negative feedback from anybody but I have the feeling tht I’m scaring ppl off with the way I present.
Has anybody else experienced this conundrum? Am I thinking ‘wrong’?
Tia for any pointers 🙂
