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Post by feelinglousyandlost on Jun 15, 2023 12:45:11 GMT
Thanks so much for your reply, and please don’t worry about the delay. It means a lot to know that there are those I can turn to, virtually at least. I’ve been doing a lot of processing internally. I don’t have any sisters so I’ve been thinking of reaching out to some extended family. The thing about small towns is that everybody knows everybody and nobody knows how to keep their mouths shut!
I posted a bit on Reddit too but got no real support and folks just went all out on the defense. Everyone just said like “being bi doesn’t mean to get to have multiple partners” or “don’t imply bisexuals are promiscuous, we’re just as monogamous”. I wasn’t really saying the opposite, but also I know they’re right. I signed up for one person, so why should that change! I’d be crushed if he wanted to see other people. Sorry, I’m talking around in circles but heck at least I’m talking (or typing) and it feels like a good start. Thanks for listening.
I did almost say something two nights ago, then stopped myself. I could see he knew something was wrong so I think he’s suspicious about me laying something on him now. Maybe he thinks I’m going to say I’m pregnant. That would actually be a lot easier! Maybe I’ll wait a bit, like you suggest.
Can I ask you, if you don’t mind, if the relationship you had last year was your first sexual one and what your hopes for the relationship were? I’m sorry if that’s intrusive, it’s just that this is a brand new world to me and by understanding what others have experienced I can try to help process my own thoughts. I hope your feeling of heartbreak has lessened and that you were able to save your friendship and can save your marriage. I’ll pray for you (and him) x
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Post by Saathi on Jun 22, 2023 14:16:19 GMT
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Post by cuddles on Jun 23, 2023 0:22:57 GMT
Hi all,
I'm new to the forum but relate to everything that is on this thread. I'm in the UK, male and married for 23 years. I think my story slightly differs but resonates with so many of yours. From the age of 9 or 10 I started having feelings for guys. From that point on I grew up secretly thinking I was gay. I had a girlfriend in high school just to fit in, nothing ever got sexual and by the age of 14 we split. I never had another relationship after then until I was 22. That's when I met my wife, she was 16 and did all the chasing and eventually within a few months I fell for her. Within 2 years we had moved in together, got married and had a child. She has been my only partner and I have had no experience with guys at all. The thing is...the attraction for guys never left me.
4 years ago those feelings got overwhelming and I found myself in chatrooms speaking to guys and, well lets just say they was video chats sometimes (not on my side i only text chat) but you can probably imagine what kind of things could happen in them. I felt a sudden release and made a friendship with a guy and eventually told my wife I think I was bisexual....she agreed that i could swap numbers with this guy who lived 100's of miles away and we spoke everyday on WhatsApp. There was lots of arguments with my wife and i was so blinded by it all that i didn't realise that the chatting to this guy was slowly killing her inside (or rather i was too selfish to acknowledge)it was a difficult time but we talked and talked and after months of tears and heartache we sorted things out and i cut all ties with the guy. She fully supports my sexuality but not the chatting to other guys etc which I understand. Then a few months ago it all resurfaced, I told her I think I'm gay. But I am so confused because I love her and she's my world. I've never had emotional or sexual feelings for any other woman...it's always been towards men. My head tells me how can I be bisexual if I'm attracted to 99.9% of men and only 0.1% of women....surely I'm gay and just hiding. But then the other side of me says that I'm still attracted to 1 woman so I can't be gay. My wife is my rock and has said that as long as there is 0.01% attraction there is a chance for us and that to her this means im not gay but bisexual. I am true and faithful and would never cheat and I 100% want my marriage....but I'm also tired of hiding when I know I'm not heterosexual and just want to be me...I'm on a journey of coming out and I'm seeing a counsellor but I am just so confused of what I am and I've never heard of anyone in my predicament....I feel so alone with this. My counsellor has said I don't need to use labels and if I do tell people then all I have to say is that I'm attracted to guys too and leave it at that. I always over think things and try justifying my feelings about why I think I'm LGBT and try second guessing what questions might be asked so I have answers but it so exhausting. I just want to be true to myself and stop hiding behind what society expects of me. Sorry for the long post xx
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Post by Rasher on Jun 23, 2023 15:55:30 GMT
Please do not share personal information such as email addresses or contactable information. It's against the rules of the forums. They exist to protect our service users.
Thank you.
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Post by claudia01 on Jul 20, 2024 19:56:11 GMT
I need help. I am a 44 yr old female LGBTQ+ Married veteran who was discharged for HOMOSEXUAL ADMISSION. I've done everything I know to do to get help and apply for VA benefits but I fall into some loophole that outs me. I was honorably discharged under general conditions. But I have no VA health or medical coverage. No help. No benefits. I'm just stuck after I signed up to give my life to and for our country, I was discharged for who I am, NOT what I did, and now I cannot find help. anderamarry3@ gmail .com, Please email me if you can help.
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Post by skilly on Jul 22, 2024 15:16:41 GMT
Hi claudia01, Thank you for sharing your situation in the forums and I'm sorry that you are going through this. have you looked at the Don't ask Don't tell website you may be able to get advice from them if you are based in the USA www.defense.gov/Spotlights/Dont-Ask-Dont-Tell-Resources/ Also please do not share personal email addresses as it does go against forum policies. I hope you are able to get support on this! |
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