Life and love

Bringing my own experience...It has got some similarities but also some differences...For example I have told I fell in love with a friend but in my case the friendship was only formed beginning of this year. I am not talking a longer term friendship...What happened is that we linked in one of the new dating apps and even though we were never intimate, we continued to meet in a friendly level...Were the combinations of sexualities and single status compatible? I think so...The guy I have been describing I would be very surprised he was into women or with a male partner 'hidden somewhere' but people can be very clever hiding those things although I am pretty sure we are talking about two single gay guys...was he in my same age range and socio-economic...Not quite I must say and maybe this is the 'voilá' eureka reason someone might point as the reason it did not work out...Yes in this case I happen to be a couple of decades his senior I am afraid...Also his status is not the same status as mine. I happen to be EU citizen living in the EU permanently while he met me at the beginning of his asylum application. He did not know life in Europe and even though he is fluent in the language of the country hosting him for now he until now has not lived in Europe...So put the picture in your head...He was blunt with me telling me that I would have to have available accommodation in order for him to consider me. He did that in a tacky way by means of whatsapp voice message which is not ideal and also early hours of a Sunday when he had been drinking...I did not have available accommodation at the time. In the city where I met him is not where I normally live as I normally live in London. He can not come to the UK. He is asylum applicant in continental Europe and he can not leave the country hosting him if he wants the application to be uphold. So I hope my testimony can help put your situation into context. Because I can tell you are suffering. Love is something that can make us suffer. But understanding some parameters can help us understand ourselves. Sure we will always desire, sometimes desire people outside our reach. But we also need to recognise how do we invest our mental energy. Enough people in this society get the loving issue right... gay, bisex, trans and straight...Right now you and I happen to be in some sort of aftermath...We have fallen for someone with heavier feelings...But eventually we will let that energy exist in a way that doesn't hurt us so much...This is what I can say for now...When you have the counsellor in front of you give the testimony exactly the way it is...Describe her exactly as she is, describe in detail that friendship and describe closely the words used by you and by her when the resolution came about...OK the counsellor probably is not able to help you meet her again and regain the friendship but the counsellor needs to help you point towards some sort of inner resolution...It will be a pity to have sessions and the story was not understood because it was told in a nicer/ more digestible way than what it actually was...Now it is our time and chance to get real...The glitch is there but we must understand how come it happened...Do we want something similar for us for the eventual future? Are we not facing some truths about ourselves? How can we begin to accept and begin to be happy in all this?