Post by hopelesswanderer on Aug 7, 2023 7:27:13 GMT
I am a female married to my wife. I have a friend who is gay and who has struggled with her mental health and also who has not had much luck starting relationships. I have also struggled with my mental health and so this friend is a good support to me over the years. (We have been friends for about 15 years). Prior to meeting my wife we would often meet up to discuss our thoughts and worries, and throughout the years this friend has been a great support to me. We have met up less since I met my now wife, as life gets busy, but we are still good friends.
This friend has asked me for a while now if I would mind going out with her to some gay bars, to increase her chances of meeting someone. She has tried online apps without much success. I of course agreed, happy to be there for her as she has been for me.
My wife however, is unhappy with the idea. She says she feels uneasy and the idea of me being in that environment makes her uncomfortable. I have asked her if she trusts me and she says she does, but will not elaborate on what is making her feel uneasy. However, to me I think deep down it must be a lack of trust making her feel this way.
My friend is not as close to my wife as she is to me, and I know if I suggested that my wife also comes along, then my friend would most certainly ‘feel the pressure’ in terms of feeling like all eyes are ok here to ‘meet someone’. This is why she has reached out to me rather than other members of our friendship group, to lessen the pressure.
Am I being completely selfish by saying yes to my friend? I have been with my wife for 4 years and have never given her a reason not to trust me. I have never cheated in previous relationships either, although my wife has. This whole situation is causing me anxiety as I don’t know what to do for the best. I don’t want to upset my wife but I also want to be able to go out with friends to bars we want to go to. Any advice would be massively appreciated.
This friend has asked me for a while now if I would mind going out with her to some gay bars, to increase her chances of meeting someone. She has tried online apps without much success. I of course agreed, happy to be there for her as she has been for me.
My wife however, is unhappy with the idea. She says she feels uneasy and the idea of me being in that environment makes her uncomfortable. I have asked her if she trusts me and she says she does, but will not elaborate on what is making her feel uneasy. However, to me I think deep down it must be a lack of trust making her feel this way.
My friend is not as close to my wife as she is to me, and I know if I suggested that my wife also comes along, then my friend would most certainly ‘feel the pressure’ in terms of feeling like all eyes are ok here to ‘meet someone’. This is why she has reached out to me rather than other members of our friendship group, to lessen the pressure.
Am I being completely selfish by saying yes to my friend? I have been with my wife for 4 years and have never given her a reason not to trust me. I have never cheated in previous relationships either, although my wife has. This whole situation is causing me anxiety as I don’t know what to do for the best. I don’t want to upset my wife but I also want to be able to go out with friends to bars we want to go to. Any advice would be massively appreciated.