Introducing myself to lgbthero
Feb 10, 2024 12:15:36 GMT
Post by rebeccajane on Feb 10, 2024 12:15:36 GMT
Hello J,
Thank you for reaching out and sorry that it has taken so long to reply: a combination of gruelling job/life and low levels of emotional energy. I don't know whether you relate to this but when I am tired and/or busy I become very disconnected from my body, and gender, and as a consequence I never know what to say in response to other's comments: I would hate to cause offence through unemotional/unintelligent comments. During these times I even feel like a fraud as I literally feel genderless, just a mind in a body eating, working and sleeping.
The tough thing is, as soon as the work pressure is switched off, I suddenly flood with feelings: joy to experience life, excitement to be a woman and then extreme exhaustion from the emotional drain of being stuck in a male body and the constant thinking/self-doubt. I was watching a TV show last night and there was a trans-male on it so confident, full of life and happy. He looked very handsome and was so joyful. I'm not jealous, just questioning as whether that would ever be me, if I transitioned?
Anyway, less of the deep. Today was the monthly haircut and I am restyling! Not as monumental as it sounds, nothing extreme and no dying...yet. However, I am growing my hair out. When our brilliant hair dresser was cutting (smartening it up for longer hair), unlike last time which was horrid, I felt jubilant. Mad, isn't it, just one simple decision feels so good:-)
I have a week off from work so can enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions and learn a bit more about me.
J, I would love to hear about your journey. Hearing how others think and feel helps me to understand myself and maybe I can offer something to the mix:-)
Kind regards,
Rebecca-Jane
Thank you for reaching out and sorry that it has taken so long to reply: a combination of gruelling job/life and low levels of emotional energy. I don't know whether you relate to this but when I am tired and/or busy I become very disconnected from my body, and gender, and as a consequence I never know what to say in response to other's comments: I would hate to cause offence through unemotional/unintelligent comments. During these times I even feel like a fraud as I literally feel genderless, just a mind in a body eating, working and sleeping.
The tough thing is, as soon as the work pressure is switched off, I suddenly flood with feelings: joy to experience life, excitement to be a woman and then extreme exhaustion from the emotional drain of being stuck in a male body and the constant thinking/self-doubt. I was watching a TV show last night and there was a trans-male on it so confident, full of life and happy. He looked very handsome and was so joyful. I'm not jealous, just questioning as whether that would ever be me, if I transitioned?
Anyway, less of the deep. Today was the monthly haircut and I am restyling! Not as monumental as it sounds, nothing extreme and no dying...yet. However, I am growing my hair out. When our brilliant hair dresser was cutting (smartening it up for longer hair), unlike last time which was horrid, I felt jubilant. Mad, isn't it, just one simple decision feels so good:-)
I have a week off from work so can enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions and learn a bit more about me.
J, I would love to hear about your journey. Hearing how others think and feel helps me to understand myself and maybe I can offer something to the mix:-)
Kind regards,
Rebecca-Jane