elaine57
Newbie
Feeling more positive.
Posts: 19
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Post by elaine57 on Nov 14, 2019 15:05:56 GMT
I believe l may be on the asexual spectrum, anyone else questioning this? I know l am Homo romantic possibly bi! Be nice to talk with others who may be the same! Bit of a complicated concept to get your head around.
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Post by lynn84 on Nov 20, 2019 4:33:27 GMT
Ohhhh girl. I was there. I didn't know what to think at first. It's all about self-experience. But I'm a little drunk girl right now so the mods are probably gonna delete this. Sorry. Elaine. Tell us more. We want to know more.
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elaine57
Newbie
Feeling more positive.
Posts: 19
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Post by elaine57 on Nov 20, 2019 7:21:03 GMT
Hi there lynne84 l have been on a very long and confusing 23 year discovery. At 39 l had feelings for a woman and although l had counselling at that time didn’t realise that you can have romantic attraction to someone yet not have sexual attraction to them. Eighteen months ago l fell head over heels in love with my best friend at the time! To say l was frightened and confused would be an understatement. Both of these times l have been married the first ended in divorce this time we are staying together. I read an article on Facebook by AVEN about Asexuals and everything just clicked in to place for me. Not having sexual feelings for my partners, thinking l had something wrong with me. Reading about the split attraction model. I am still working it all out but had very strong romantic feelings for women not men and very little if no sexual feelings for anyone. I do still like orgasms though and do fantasise. See what l mean about confusing! I totally agree about the self experience, it gets a bit difficult for me there because l am socially very shy and don’t make friends easily especially now l have lost my best friend because of my feelings!
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Post by simonsays on Nov 23, 2019 14:14:14 GMT
I have questioned this also. I think it might be to do with the link between gay sex and shame. I've been told that having sex with a man is wrong and I wonder if this has had an impact on me rather than being asexual. I don't know.
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elaine57
Newbie
Feeling more positive.
Posts: 19
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Post by elaine57 on Nov 23, 2019 22:43:31 GMT
I don’t feel any shame about the feelings l have had about women. Only two occasions that l can say l have felt desire and that was so brief almost a flicker then gone, so l don’t know if l could have sex with a woman. I definitely don’t feel any desire for men though. Haven’t known many people really so perhaps that’s part of the problem . I think l need more counselling although my counsellor was really good and easy to talk to she could only really say that it’s okay to love anyone and labels don’t matter which for me is simply not enough. I need to go much deeper than this, why l was so accepting of men in my life even though l didn’t have any sexual feelings for them. Why it has taken me so long to realise l am so very complicated, and have now developed such strong overwhelming feelings for a woman that l have never felt for anyone else before.
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