Post by pun1n73nd3d on Dec 23, 2023 22:44:17 GMT
So i am a married man who grew up in a Christian home where the view of any and an non-heterosexual actions and living is wrong. More wrong than any other sins and i learned to accept this view. Around high school however i learned the wonderful fealing that comes with stimulating the backside and began taking every chance to enjoy the feeling in my privacy. But with my upbringing this lead to some confusion. My understanding was that it was very wrong. I soon found the sexiest and most exciting porn i had ever found. These Beautiful women with the most amazing thing id never seen before…they also had a manhood attached and used it with excellence on each other.
I kept this hidden and secret for years. During this time i met my current wife, had babies, and generally enjoyed life. The issue is that, growing up in a Christian household i held my Christian beliefs and married a strong Christian woman. And continued secretly watching my pornography which was detestable according to my parents and wife, neadless to say how they would feel about the TYPE i enjoyed. Throughout the early years of my relationship with my wife i began to recognize the way men looked at women, the way they desired them and sought after them and i began to realize how jealous i was. I began to imagine what it wuld be like to fel that desire. I began to imagine how it would feel to be a woman. To flaunt my backside and my breasts in suggestive clothing and watch them drool. Now i began to question not only my sexuality but my concept of my gender and identity.
14 years later, my marriage has suffered at the admittance of my since and my thoughts to my wife. Through much heartache and turmoil we stayed together and continued to raise our family and have more kids. Now my marriage is at the breaking point and I don’t know what to do. I cane out to my two siblings and found support in The situation. My sister loves the idea of bringing her female bi friend to drag shows starring myself and was supportive of that endeavor if we separate. The problem is that i LOVE my kids with everything that I am and the thought of not spending every day with them is devastating. i would be the one to have less time with them since i am the breadwinner and she works at their school so they go to and from work with her. And yet at the prospect that our marriage truly was ending, my thoughts raced to ideas of sexual and physical freedom to do what i will when the kids are not there. I dont know WHAT to do now because my desire to explore who i truly may be cannot coexist in this relationship. I am at a standstill and do not know what to think or what to do. Any advice and help is so, so appreciated .
I kept this hidden and secret for years. During this time i met my current wife, had babies, and generally enjoyed life. The issue is that, growing up in a Christian household i held my Christian beliefs and married a strong Christian woman. And continued secretly watching my pornography which was detestable according to my parents and wife, neadless to say how they would feel about the TYPE i enjoyed. Throughout the early years of my relationship with my wife i began to recognize the way men looked at women, the way they desired them and sought after them and i began to realize how jealous i was. I began to imagine what it wuld be like to fel that desire. I began to imagine how it would feel to be a woman. To flaunt my backside and my breasts in suggestive clothing and watch them drool. Now i began to question not only my sexuality but my concept of my gender and identity.
14 years later, my marriage has suffered at the admittance of my since and my thoughts to my wife. Through much heartache and turmoil we stayed together and continued to raise our family and have more kids. Now my marriage is at the breaking point and I don’t know what to do. I cane out to my two siblings and found support in The situation. My sister loves the idea of bringing her female bi friend to drag shows starring myself and was supportive of that endeavor if we separate. The problem is that i LOVE my kids with everything that I am and the thought of not spending every day with them is devastating. i would be the one to have less time with them since i am the breadwinner and she works at their school so they go to and from work with her. And yet at the prospect that our marriage truly was ending, my thoughts raced to ideas of sexual and physical freedom to do what i will when the kids are not there. I dont know WHAT to do now because my desire to explore who i truly may be cannot coexist in this relationship. I am at a standstill and do not know what to think or what to do. Any advice and help is so, so appreciated .
